I have deadlines coming out of my ears, but I still find time for some good old procrastination.
Work hard, play hard, and take a nap in between.
If life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your coffee and keep working.
Success is 10% inspiration and 90% staying awake during boring meetings.
I’m not always right, but when I am, it’s because I triple-checked my work.
Coffee: because adulting requires a constant state of caffeination.
Sometimes the best solution is to take a break and let your subconscious do the work.
Sometimes the best ideas come from the craziest workspaces.
When in doubt, ask yourself: ‘What would Dwight Schrute do?’
I don’t always love my job, but when I do, it’s payday.
Procrastination is a way of life, until it’s the day before a deadline.
Work smart, not hard, unless you’re being paid by the hour.
The best way to predict the future is to create it, one spreadsheet at a time.
Being busy is not an excuse for being unproductive.
I’m not a workaholic, I just really enjoy what I do… and the paycheck helps.
The key to success is a good playlist and a silent cubicle mate.
If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life… except for Mondays.
Mistakes are proof that you’re trying, so keep making them until you get it right.
Time management is the art of pretending to be busy when you’re actually daydreaming.
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I’d probably have enough money to buy something that would continue distracting me.
The secret to success is to start before you’re ready.
The desk is always cleaner on the day before the boss comes for a surprise visit.
Work-life balance is a myth, but at least you can have a good laugh about it.
The only thing worse than working on weekends is not working on weekends and having nothing to show for it.
If you’re not making mistakes, you’re probably not working on anything important.
Perfectionism is the enemy of progress, but it sure does make your spreadsheets look nice.
The best way to motivate yourself is to imagine your paycheck spending itself.
When life gives you lemons, give them to your coworker and pretend it’s teamwork.
Doing what you love is great, as long as what you love is paying the bills.
A messy desk is a sign of a creative mind, or a really lazy cleaning lady.
Teamwork makes the dream work, unless you’re working with people who don’t know how to use the printer.
Don’t let work interfere with your coffee breaks.
If life were fair, every day would be Friday.
Success is not the key to happiness, but a nice vacation home sure is.
If you think nobody cares about your job, try logging in two minutes late.
The only thing worse than working overtime is having no overtime pay.
The best way to handle a difficult coworker is to pretend they don’t exist… until they bring donuts.
The only thing more dangerous than a bored employee is a bored employee with internet access.
A minute spent planning is an hour saved panicking.
The hardest part of my job is pretending to look busy when the boss walks by.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do… or get paid a lot of money to tolerate it.
I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.
The best way to stay awake during a boring meeting is to make a mental grocery list.
If you’re not willing to put in the hard work, you better be willing to settle for mediocrity.
The only thing better than a promotion is a promotion and a corner office with a view.