Herschel Walker’s Funny Quotes to Brighten Your Day

I don’t go to the gym because I’m trying to impress anyone. I go to the gym because I don’t want to die when I have to chase after the ice cream truck.

I once tried to count my many muscles, but I got tired after I reached 100.

They say laughter is the best medicine, but a workout with me is a close second.

I don’t just lift weights, I lift spirits.

There’s no problem that can’t be solved with a set of dumbbells and a cheesy joke.

People say I have a great sense of humor. I tell them it’s all the endorphins from my workouts.

If you want to be as strong as me, start by lifting your spirits and then move on to lifting weights.

I once tried to do yoga. Let’s just say, my muscles weren’t flexible enough for that downward dog pose.

I don’t work out to look good in a bathing suit. I work out so I can eat all the ice cream I want.

I may not have superpowers, but I can deadlift a car. So, that’s something.

I used to think the Tooth Fairy was the toughest thing I had to face. Then I tried my first 500-pound squat.

Some people say I have a lot of muscles. I say I just have a really good hug game.

I didn’t choose the #fitlife, the #fitlife chose me.

They say time flies when you’re having fun. Well, time flies even faster when you’re sprinting.

I don’t sweat, I sparkle. Just kidding, I sweat like a waterfall during a heatwave.

I once tried to do a handstand push-up. Let’s just say, the floor won that round.

I tried doing a pull-up on a tree branch once. Let’s just say, squirrels shouldn’t try that.

I love the smell of success in the morning. It smells like sweat and protein shakes.

You know you’ve had a good workout when you can’t lift your arms to brush your teeth.

I don’t do burpees for fun. I do them so I can eat a burrito the size of my head guilt-free.

I once entered a push-up competition. Let’s just say, my opponents were no match for my pecs of steel.

My dentist says I have strong teeth. I credit my jaw-dropping squats.

They say laughter is the best exercise. I say lifting weights while telling jokes is even better.

My gym playlist consists of upbeat music and the sound of me flexing in the mirror.

I’ve heard of people doing a marathon, but I prefer doing a marathon of dad jokes.

I don’t have a six-pack, I have a keg. A keg of laughter and gains.

I once tried to do a headstand. Let’s just say, my head wasn’t ready for that level of responsibility.

I don’t work out to impress others. I work out to be able to carry all my groceries in one trip.

I don’t sweat, I glisten. And by glisten, I mean I look like I just jumped in a pool fully clothed.

They say patience is a virtue. I say impatience is a great way to fuel your workout.

They say abs are made in the kitchen. Well, my kitchen is full of laughter and pizza boxes.

I can do a Turkish get-up and a great punchline. I’m a one-man show, really.

They say running is good for your health. I say running after the ice cream truck is even better.

I’m not just strong, I’m ‘make your grandma blush’ strong.

I do planks to strengthen my core. Also, because it’s good practice for lying perfectly still while eating cheese fries.

I’ve heard of funny bones, but I have a funny bicep.

They say laughter is contagious. Well, my muscles are too.

I don’t just lift weights, I lift the mood.

My gym is my happy place. Well, that and the dessert section of the supermarket.

I once tried to do a sumo deadlift. Let’s just say, the sumo wrestlers weren’t impressed.

Working out without laughter is like a sandwich without cheese. It’s just not the same.

I don’t count reps, I count punchlines. It’s much more entertaining.

I’ve heard of laughing until your abs hurt, but I prefer laughing until my whole body hurts from a killer workout.

I don’t do leg day, I do selfie day. The mirror just can’t resist my quads of glory.

I’ve heard of smile lines, but I have smile muscles. It’s like having a permanent laughing emoji on my face.

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