Twilight Funny Quotes – A Collection of Humorous Lines from the Popular Vampire Saga

I’m not clumsy, I’m just practicing parkour.

Edward, your glittery skin is blinding me with fashion.

Bella, forget about vampires, have you tried online dating?

Who needs a vampire boyfriend when you have Netflix?

Alice, I think I’ll join your Cullens Anonymous group for people obsessed with vampires.

If Bella can date a vampire, I can date a unicorn.

Edward, can you write a song about how much you love sunscreen?

Jacob, I’m Team Pizza because it never hurts me emotionally.

Bella, you’re not a klutz, you’re a professional gravitational challenge taker.

Edward, sparkle like a disco ball, not like a vampire in sunlight.

The only cold one I want in my life is ice cream, not a vampire.

Jacob, if you were a werewolf emoji, I’d use you to spice up my texts.

Bella, instead of a vampire, can I have a pet dragon as a boyfriend?

Edward, can you give me some tips for growing glittery skin?

Jacob, I see you’re not only good at running with wolves, but also with the bulls in Pamplona.

Bella, forget about vampires, let’s start a club for people who are afraid of sunshine.

Edward, can we trade our sparkling skills? I want to glow like Edward Cullen.

Jacob, you can howl at the moon, but can you dance the Macarena?

Bella, I think you should join the Olympic team for tripping and falling.

Edward, any tips for hiding from the sun? I’m allergic to sunlight.

Jacob, you’re not just hot because you’re a werewolf, you’re genuinely attractive.

Bella, instead of choosing between Edward and Jacob, can I have both and start a sandwich shop?

Edward, have you ever considered launching a line of vampire-friendly sunscreen?

Jacob, you’re as loyal as a dog. Can you fetch my slippers too?

Bella, instead of dating a vampire, why not find a partner who never complains about food?

Edward, I think you should open a disco club called ‘Twilight Sparkles’.

Jacob, if you were a superhero, would your power be ‘super strong abs’?

Bella, instead of being torn between Edward and Jacob, can you just choose pizza?

Edward, do you mind if I use your glittery skin as a makeup highlighter?

Jacob, can you teach me your hair care secrets? Your locks are werewolf level fabulous.

Bella, instead of a vampire, let’s find you a boyfriend who can carry you without breaking his back.

Edward, have you ever tried sunscreen that smells like apples?

Jacob, your abs are so impressive that I bet they have their own fan club.

Bella, instead of a vampire, can you find a boyfriend who likes to binge-watch Netflix?

Edward, you should star in a vampire-themed dating show called ‘Datelight’.

Jacob, does your fur have a stylist? It’s always on point.

Bella, instead of a vampire boyfriend, have you considered having a pet unicorn?

Edward, instead of sparkling, have you ever considered releasing your own line of disco balls?

Jacob, you’re like a one-man crash course in howling at the moon.

Bella, instead of dating a vampire, can you find someone who won’t ditch you at prom?

Edward, your sparkling skin should be considered a national treasure.

Jacob, have you ever thought about starting a boy band with your werewolf friends?

Bella, instead of vampires, can you find a guy who doesn’t vanish into thin air?

Edward, can you teach me how to get that perfect shiny vampire hair?

Jacob, instead of being a werewolf, can you become a professional bodybuilder? Your muscles are magical.

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