Sarcastic Valentine Quotes

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. Just kidding! You’re really not that sweet.

Love is in the air… and so is the smell of desperation.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples out there. May your love last longer than most celebrity marriages.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather be single than spend Valentine’s Day with you.

Love is like a rollercoaster ride, and I’d rather stay on solid ground.

Valentine’s Day is just a reminder that I’m still single. Thanks for rubbing it in, Hallmark.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m allergic to flowers, how ’bout you?

If love is blind, then Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to turn a blind eye to all the couples.

Love is patient, love is kind… but Valentine’s Day is just a pain in the behind.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m spending Valentine’s Day alone, how about you?

Valentine’s Day is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get, but chances are it will be disappointing.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather spend Valentine’s Day with Netflix and pizza, how about you?

Love is a battlefield, and I’m a conscientious objector.

Valentine’s Day is just another reminder of how much money I’ve wasted on bad relationships.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m spending Valentine’s Day alone, and honestly, I’m cool with that.

Instead of Valentine’s Day, can we have a day called ‘Just Be Happy You’re Single’ Day?

Love is like a boomerang. I throw it out there, and it just keeps coming back and hitting me in the face.

Valentine’s Day is a great reminder that love is like a car payment – you’re always paying for it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather have a box of chocolates than a box of your love, thank you.

Love is a four-letter word… so is hate. Just saying.

Valentine’s Day is like a bad hangover… it’s overrated and makes me want to stay in bed all day.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you… if you’re a candy store.

Instead of buying me flowers, buy me pizza. That’s true love right there.

Love is like a maze… and I’m really bad at mazes.

Valentine’s Day is a good excuse to eat copious amounts of chocolate. And cry.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t need a valentine… I need a refund.

Love is like a fine wine, and I prefer cheap beer.

Valentine’s Day is like a horror movie – it’s scary, it’s overrated, and it always ends badly.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d rather be single than spend Valentine’s Day with you.

Love is like a box of chocolates… and I’ve already eaten all the good ones.

Valentine’s Day is a great time to remind everyone that you’re fabulous and don’t need a significant other to feel loved.

Roses are red, violets are blue, who needs a valentine when you can have wine and Netflix too?

Love is like a rollercoaster ride… and I’m afraid of heights.

Valentine’s Day is for amateurs. I celebrate ‘Singles Awareness Day’ all year round.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m allergic to flowers, so this day is basically ruined.

Love is blind… but I have perfect vision.

Valentine’s Day is like a bad rom-com – predictable and full of clichés.

Roses are red, violets are blue, love is overrated, and so are you.

Love is like a lottery ticket, and I always seem to pick the losing numbers.

Valentine’s Day is just another reminder of how alone I am… thanks, Cupid.

Roses are red, violets are blue, love is a scam, and so are you.

Love is like a mosquito bite, it’s annoying and leaves you itching for something better.

Valentine’s Day is like a bad blind date – you’re stuck with it, and it never lives up to expectations.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Valentine’s Day sucks, and so do you.

Love is like a bad song stuck in your head… and I can’t find the mute button.