Phoebe Buffay Quotes

I wish I could, but I don’t want to.

I’m a pretty tall woman and I love to eat.

I’m sometimes generous, but mostly I’m just selfish and mean.

I don’t see why people are so into working out.

I have a strong belief that ghosts are for real.

I’m not just ‘flaky,’ I’m fiercely independent.

It’s not that I’m not happy for you… I just wish that I was you.

I’m gonna fly on out of here like a bold eagle.

I believe in karma. That’s why I want for people to do good so that good things happen to them.

I bless myself every day to stay lucky.

Life is like a piece of bread. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, but you have to eat it anyway.

I am always the one who gets weird medical conditions.

Love is like a giant pigeon. It’s everywhere, but nobody likes it.

I support animal rights, but I still eat meat… Because that’s the circle of life.

You don’t need a husband to have a baby. Just a turkey baster.

I have such a beautiful singing voice… For a cat being strangled.

I’d rather live in a world where everyone believes in unicorns.

I have a hard time distinguishing between the lies I tell and the truth.

I dream about snakes almost every night. Maybe it’s because they’re completely badass.

I have the most incredible memory… for useless information.

I’m like a human jukebox. Just put a coin in me and I’ll sing for you.

I don’t get why people are so obsessed with coffee. I’m all about tea, baby.

Every time I sing ‘Smelly Cat’, a little piece of my soul dies.

I love finding fun and weird facts about the world. Did you know that a whale’s song can travel hundreds of miles underwater?

I never understood why people are against the idea of reincarnation. I think it’s pretty cool to come back as a tree.

I’m a Pisces, which means I’m emotionally unstable and have no idea what I’m doing half the time.

I have an intense fear of flip-flops. They’re like the underwear of shoes.

I used to believe in Santa Claus, until I found out that he doesn’t bring presents for adults. That’s just rude.

I think I was a tree in a past life. I have a special bond with them.

I’m not a huge fan of the ocean. It’s full of creepy creatures and sand gets everywhere.

Most people say ‘bless you’ when you sneeze. I say ‘you’re so good looking’ because it’s more fun.

I’ve adopted so many cats that I’ve lost count. I think I might be a crazy cat lady in the making.

I once had a dream that I was trapped inside a giant, evil sandwich. It was terrifying and delicious.

I love watching documentaries about nature. It makes me feel like I’m not the weirdest creature on Earth.

Sometimes I feel like I’m floating through life, like a lost cloud in the sky.

I’m just a simple girl with simple tastes. Give me a guitar and a tub of ice cream, and I’m happy.

I hate it when people try to define me and put me in a box. I’m a wild and free spirit.

I’m the expert of random knowledge. Want to know how many ants it takes to carry a potato chip? Just ask me.

Some people collect stamps or coins. I collect weird and quirky experiences.

If there’s one thing I learned from ‘The Little Mermaid’, it’s that crabs are surprisingly good singers.

I believe in the power of positive thinking… and also in the power of having a good hair day.

I’ve always felt a connection with lobsters. They mate for life, just like me… Well, in my imagination.

I never follow the lyrics of a song. I prefer to make up my own hilarious words.

I think all the people on ‘Game of Thrones’ are secretly my ancestors. The resemblance is uncanny.

I’m weird, and I embrace it. Normal is boring anyway.