NBA Funny Quotes

I shoot like Stephen Curry… in my dreams.

I tried to dunk once. Let’s just say gravity had a different plan for me.

I’m the biggest fan of the bench. It’s where I do my best cheering.

I’m so good at NBA 2K, I should be signed to a real team.

I’m not a flopper, I just have a great sense of balance and dramatic flair.

They say basketball is 90% mental. Well, my mental game could use some work.

I may not be LeBron James, but I can definitely make a mean taco.

I once air-balled a free throw so badly, it landed in the nacho cheese.

Basketball is all about teamwork, except when it comes to hogging the popcorn.

I went for a lay-up and ended up in the bleachers. I call it a courtside seat upgrade.

I can’t dunk, but I do excel in the art of the finger roll… when eating a burrito.

I may not be tall, but I make up for it with my high-flying imagination.

I joined a basketball league just for the free jersey. #FashionOverSkills

I don’t need a shooting coach, I just need a GPS to find the basket.

My crossover is so smooth, it inspired an ice cream flavor… Rocky Road.

I may not be able to shoot, but I can definitely drop some sick freestyle rhymes.

They told me to practice my jump shot, so I jumped… and shot air.

I’m the LeBron James of picking my nose… I always find the golden nugget.

My post-game routine consists of searching for my lost dignity.

They say defense wins championships, so I keep my hands in my pockets.

I tried doing a lay-up once, but my shoelaces were tied together. Gravity won that round.

My basketball skills are so bad, I couldn’t even get drafted in the NBA Draft Lottery.

I may not have hops, but I have a mean crossover… with my legs during a stretch.

I’m the Michael Jordan of tripping over my own feet.

Basketball is all about confidence. That’s why I always wear my lucky mismatched socks.

I tried to dunk once, but the basketball slipped through my hands like a bar of soap.

I’m the Shaq of free throws… brick after brick.

I may not be a basketball legend, but I’m definitely a champion in my own mind.

I dribble like Kyrie Irving… if he was dribbling with his elbows.

I’m not a ball hog, I just like giving the ball some alone time.

My basketball skills are so bad, I should’ve been a referee.

I’m the Kobe Bryant of missing the game-winning shot… every time.

I shoot three-pointers like Steph Curry… from the parking lot.

I may not have a killer crossover, but I can break ankles with my dance moves.

I may not have handles, but I can handle a slice of pizza like a champion.

I’m not afraid of getting blocked, I just like challenging the laws of physics.

My signature move is the air ball. It’s so good, I even surprise myself.

I’m the Dennis Rodman of rebounding… I always find a way to crash the party.

I may not have hops, but I have a mean pogo stick game.

I may not be a basketball player, but I have mastered the art of the half-court shot… in my dreams.

I’m the Wilt Chamberlain of missed lay-ups. Legends are made in failure, right?

The only time I’m good at shooting free throws is when I’m dreaming.

I may not be able to shoot, but I have no problem picking sides… at the buffet.

I’m the Steve Nash of passing… the salt at the dinner table.

I may not be tall, but I have the heart of a champion… and the coordination of a baby giraffe.