Lewis Grizzard Quotes – Wisdom and Humor from an American Southern Writer

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

Don’t let your mind wander—it’s too little to be let out alone.

If there’s one thing I learned in life, it’s that you’re better off not knowing some things.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of their tires.

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Cobb County has all the amenities of a big city, but it still has the charm and hospitality of a small town—and we’re proud of that.

In the South, our manners are our moral compass.

I don’t mind giving people a piece of my mind, as long as they don’t take the whole thing.

I love football season because it gives me an excuse to eat fried food every Sunday.

I can resist everything except temptation—and peach cobbler.

I never see any home cooking with strange spices on the table. I don’t know whether there would be a market for it in my hometown.

The only thing better than a good catfish fry is a good catfish fry with sweet tea.

Sometimes you have to look back to see how far you’ve come.

Some days, the best revenge is to hold your head high and move on.

I never met a biscuit I didn’t like—especially if it’s slathered in butter.

When life gives you lemons, make a tall glass of sweet lemonade and drink it on the front porch swing.

The secret to a happy life is simple: love what you do and who you’re doing it with.

I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong for long.

One of the great things about living in the South is that there’s always someone to wave at.

A Southerner can make anything sound like a compliment—with the right tone of voice.

Love is like a biscuit—best when shared with someone special.

I can’t understand why people say they don’t like cornbread. It’s practically a food group in the South.

Laughter is the sweetest sound in the world, especially when it’s shared with good friends.

If life hands you a bowl of collard greens, make sure you have plenty of ham hocks to go with it.

There’s nothing like a good country song to make you feel like you’re not alone in your troubles.

Life is like a magnolia blossom—beautiful, but it only lasts for a short time.

A true Southerner knows the best way to start the day is with a strong cup of coffee and a hug from someone you love.

The charm of the South is that no matter where you go, you can always find someone who’ll stop and talk to you.

Being Southern means knowing the difference between ‘bless your heart’ and ‘bless your little heart.’

The best way to win an argument is to let the other person think they’re right—then go do things your way anyway.

You can’t go wrong with a potluck dinner and good company.

The secret to a happy marriage is simple: never go to bed angry, always eat dessert together, and never forget to say ‘I love you.’

If you want to find true love, look no further than the nearest county fair.

Happiness is a warm biscuit and a sunny day.

The South is known for its hospitality, but we’re also known for knowing how to throw a good party.

The best medicine for a broken heart is a strong drink and a good friend.

In the South, a backyard barbecue is more than just a meal—it’s a celebration of good food, good friends, and good times.

A true Southerner knows that the best way to cool off on a hot summer day is with a glass of sweet tea and a front porch breeze.

Life is like a bold piece of fried chicken—sometimes you just have to take a big bite and savor the moment.

If biscuits could talk, they would say, ‘I love you’ in every bite.

The secret to a happy life is simple: appreciate the little things, forgive quickly, and never stop dreaming.

A true Southerner knows that potato salad is a work of art—and it’s never complete without a dash of mustard and a sprinkling of paprika.

In the South, we believe in the power of hospitality and the importance of treating others with respect and kindness.

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *