Remember when coughing in public was a sign of a weak immune system, not a criminal offense?
Quarantine tip: Don’t eat all your snacks in the first two days, you might need them later!
Who would’ve thought that our grandparents’ advice of washing hands would become the hottest trend of 2020?
I never thought I’d miss Mondays until I couldn’t leave the house for two weeks straight.
Is it just me, or is my Netflix asking if I’m still watching more judgmental during quarantine?
I finally realized my dream of being a bartender – I make the best quarantinis at home!
Anyone else’s car’s gas tank filled with cobwebs by now?
I never thought I’d see the day when toilet paper would be worth more than gold.
Day 12 of quarantine: My dog is looking at me like, ‘See? This is why I chew the furniture.’
I’ve washed my hands so many times, I discovered a new fingerprint on my right thumb.
Quarantine hairstyle: the ‘I don’t give a haircut’.
Just because I’m home all day doesn’t mean I’m productive. My laundry pile can confirm that.
If someone coughs near you, just scream: ‘Dementor!’ and watch everyone run away.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ve been in quarantine for way too long, and my sanity is too.
I didn’t choose the quarantine life, the quarantine life chose me.
Quarantine fitness challenge: Do a daily workout video without laughing at the instructor’s cheesy jokes.
I’ve reached the level of Quarantine Snacks Connoisseur – ask me anything.
My plants think I’m the best gardener in the world now that I’m home 24/7.
Day 27 of quarantine: I turned my couch into a permanent impression of my body.
Remember when we used to be excited about canceled plans? Ah, the good old days.
I used to want a vacation every month, but now I just want to walk around Target without a mask.
Can we just take a moment to appreciate introverts for being the least affected by quarantine?
Quarantine style tip: The best accessory to any outfit is a face mask – it’s like the LBD of 2020.
Did anyone else’s car insurance company ask if they’re driving less because of the pandemic? Yeah, neither did mine.
Week 5 of quarantine: I’m either going to come out of this a master chef or 10 pounds heavier.
Who needs makeup when half your face is covered with a mask?
Quarantine has proven that some of us were preparing for social distancing our whole lives.
My travel plans for 2020? Going from the bedroom to the living room every day.
This year’s spring break theme: Self-island.
If you’ve ever wanted to see what your natural hair color looks like, now’s the time.
I’ve been practicing social distancing since before it was cool – thank you, social anxiety.
Day 43: My plants have officially formed a support group to cope with my over-watering.
Turns out my hobbies include reading, binge-watching, and taking naps – who knew?
Just a reminder: Half of us are not working from home, we’re always at work!
Wearing a mask in public makes me feel like a superhero with a secret identity.
Quarantine lesson learned: Next time, I need to stock up on more snacks and less kale.
Giving a round of applause to all the introverts out there – they’ve been training for this their whole lives.
Day 59: My cat is officially sick of me and my constant need for cuddles.
I’m starting to suspect that the real reason we need toilet paper is to build forts in our living rooms.
If you see someone without a face mask, just assume they’re a stunt double for the ‘Walking Dead’.
Quarantine is like a Seinfeld marathon – it’s about nothing, but it’s oddly entertaining.
Can we all agree that the person who invented video conferencing deserves a Nobel Peace Prize?
Date night in quarantine: going to the living room for a change of scenery.
Quarantine workout routine: Lift snacks from the pantry to the couch, repeat.
Isolation tip: Pretend you’re the main character in a post-apocalyptic movie and see how long you can survive without going outside.
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