The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz.
I’m not good-looking. I used to be but not anymore. Not like Robert Taylor. What I have got is I have character in my face.
The only good reason to have money is to tell any son-of-a-bitch in the world to go to hell.
Things are never so bad they can’t be made worse.
The whole world is about three drinks behind.
When you’re in love with a married man, you shouldn’t wear mascara.
If you think you’re too big for your boots, maybe you should check if you’re wearing the right size.
The trouble with the world is that it’s always one drink behind.
A woman’s an actress. She doesn’t marry the character she plays.
A man who tells you that he got rich through hard work is either lying or he wasn’t very good at it.
You’re not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi.
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.
The more holes you dig, the less dirt there is to bury your mistakes.
Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get.
The greatest victory is to live a life true to yourself, not the life others expect of you.
In Casablanca, we knew the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
The only worth-while things in this world are the caress of a woman’s hand and the light on a glass of Scotch whiskey.
There’s no law that says you have to like somebody.
I love good wine. I love girls, even though they don’t love me.
If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
People who mean well are the most dangerous.
I’ve been accused of making a career out of playing hard-boiled characters, but in fact, I’m a very soft guy. I unashamedly cry at movies.
Here’s looking at you, kid.
When in doubt, stick to the classics.
I’m no saint, but I’ve tried never to do anything that would hurt my family or offend God.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.
Acting is experience with something sweet behind it.
I’m not good-looking. I used to be, but not anymore.
The problem with the world is that reality is usually wrong.
Character is the difference between how we act when nobody is looking and how we act when everybody is looking.
When life gives you lemons, make sure you have plenty of vodka.
The only thing that can stop you from becoming who you want to be is the story you tell yourself about why you can’t become it.
A sensitive man is just someone who feels more than you do.
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it.
I don’t want to make money. I just want to be wonderful.
When you’re in love with a married man, you shouldn’t wear mascara.
I never trust a man who doesn’t drink.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do.
I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.
I never worry about action, but only about inaction.
The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
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