Funny Quotes About Leaving a Job

I may be leaving my job, but don’t worry, I’ll still find a way to procrastinate.

Leaving a job is like breaking up with someone, except you don’t have to return any of their stuff.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I take all the pens that mysteriously disappeared from my desk.

Leaving a job is bittersweet, like finally finishing a really good TV series.

I thought about leaving my job today, but then I remembered I have bills to pay.

Leaving a job is like finally getting out of a toxic relationship, except your boss won’t call you crying at 2 AM.

I’m leaving my job, but don’t worry, I’ll still pretend to be busy when the boss walks by.

Leaving a job is like going on a vacation, except you don’t have to pack.

I’m leaving my job, but not without taking one last trip to the office snack cabinet.

Leaving a job is liberating, like finally taking off those uncomfortable shoes.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll always remember the day I accidentally sent an email to the entire company.

Leaving a job is like realizing that you’ve been using the wrong font your entire career.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I give my coworkers a detailed presentation on the art of napping at work.

Leaving a job is like winning the lottery, except you don’t actually win any money.

I’m leaving my job, but I’ll still show up to the office holiday party for the free drinks.

Leaving a job is like deleting all your social media accounts, it’s a fresh start.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll still be the reigning champion of the office potluck.

Leaving a job is like throwing away all those old takeout menus you never actually ordered from.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I leave my personalized coffee mug as a farewell gift to the office kitchen.

Leaving a job is like finally finishing a crossword puzzle that’s been sitting on your desk for months.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll still keep in touch with all the coworkers I actually liked.

Leaving a job is like finally smashing your alarm clock with a hammer.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I leave a sticky note on my computer screen that says ‘Be back in 5 minutes.’

Leaving a job is like escaping from a prison made of Excel spreadsheets.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll still hold the record for the most paper clip sculptures built during office meetings.

Leaving a job is like stepping out into the sunlight after spending all day in a dark basement.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I take one last nap in the supply closet.

Leaving a job is like taking a leap of faith, except you’re just leaping into another job with less vacation time.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll always remember the day someone microwaved fish in the office kitchen.

Leaving a job is like finally throwing away all those expired coupons cluttering your desk drawer.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I solve the mystery of who keeps stealing my lunch from the office fridge.

Leaving a job is like deleting all those embarrassing emails you sent to the wrong person.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll still have nightmares about accidentally hitting ‘reply all’ on an email.

Leaving a job is like finally getting off a rollercoaster that made you nauseous the whole ride.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I drop one final passive-aggressive note in the suggestion box.

Leaving a job is like finally finding the perfect parking spot right in front of your destination.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll still be the reigning champion of office pranks.

Leaving a job is like realizing you were wearing your shirt inside out the whole day.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I write a scathing Yelp review about the office coffee.

Leaving a job is like realizing you’ve been using the wrong emoji in all your work emails.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll always remember the day I accidentally spilled coffee all over my keyboard.

Leaving a job is like finally throwing away all those sticky notes with passwords you can’t remember anymore.

I’m leaving my job, but not before I give my coworkers a crash course in my expert procrastination techniques.

Leaving a job is like finally waking up from a really weird dream.

I may be leaving my job, but I’ll still be the office’s unofficial IT support for free.