Funny Hate Quotes

I don’t hate you. I just strongly dislike your existence.

I would politely ask you to leave, but I hate your guts too much to be polite.

If hating you was a sport, I’d definitely win the gold medal.

I don’t need anger management. I just need you to stop being so annoying.

If I had a dollar for every time I hated you, I’d be a billionaire.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t so terrible?

Hate is such a strong word, but it’s the only one I can use to describe my feelings towards you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate you so much, it’s nothing new.

I hate the way you breathe, the way you talk, and pretty much everything else about you.

Sometimes I wish there was a delete button for people like you.

If hating you was a career, I’d be the CEO.

I hope all your socks get soggy.

You’re the reason I believe in karma.

I’m allergic to stupidity, and you’re definitely giving me a reaction.

I wouldn’t wish you to step on a Lego, but it wouldn’t break my heart if you did.

I’d unfriend you in real life if I could.

You’re like a breath of fresh air. Except not refreshing, and more like a punch to the face.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

You have all the charm of a paper cut.

I hope you step on a Lego every day for the rest of your life.

You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

You’re the reason I drink.

If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d have enough to hire a hitman.

I’d call you a tool, but that would imply you’re useful in some way.

I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.

You’re like a mosquito buzzing in my ear, except I can’t swat you away.

If dumbness were a superpower, you’d be a superhero.

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain how much I hate you.

I wish I could mute you in real life.

I wouldn’t wish you good luck, but I don’t wish you ill either. I’m pretty indifferent towards your existence.

I’d rather be stuck in traffic for eternity than spend another second in your presence.

You’re so full of hot air, I’m surprised you haven’t floated away.

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a dumbass.

I hope you step on a Lego every time you get out of bed.

You’re like a cold sore, annoying and impossible to get rid of.

You’re the reason there’s no cure for stupidity.

I don’t know what’s worse, your face or your personality.

You’re like a mosquito in a nudist colony, always looking for something to annoy.

I hope you stub your toe on every piece of furniture you encounter.

My dislike for you is like a black hole, it just keeps expanding.

If I had a dime for every time you annoyed me, I’d be the richest person alive.

You have the human contact skills of a cactus.

I wish you were as good at taking hints as you are at being annoying.

You’re the reason I have trust issues.

I hope you find everything you’re looking for, somewhere else.