I’m not a golfer, I’m a professional grass whisperer.
Golf is just a polite way of saying swearing competition.
Golf: ruining a good walk since 15th century.
My golf swing is like a fidget spinner, unpredictable and mesmerizing.
Keep calm and golf on, unless you hit a water hazard.
Golf is the only sport that comes with its own built-in therapy session.
I may not be the best golfer, but I’m definitely the best at driving the cart.
Golf is the only sport where I can consistently find the sand, but never the green.
Golf: the only place where it’s socially acceptable to wear a visor and plaid pants.
I don’t always play golf, but when I do, I prefer to do it poorly.
Golf is a game where you’re rewarded for hitting the ball the least number of times possible without getting caught cheating.
Golf is like life, it’s all about the follow-through.
Golf is a great way to spoil a walk in nature with frustration and disappointment.
Golf is the only sport where you can spend more time looking for your ball than actually playing.
Golf: the sport where you call it a good shot if it goes in the intended direction.
Golf is the perfect excuse to dress like a dad and still feel cool.
Golf is proof that a little white ball can cause a lot of stress.
I play golf for the exercise. My doctor said I need more anger management.
Golf: a game where you can yell ‘fore’ and not get in trouble with the law.
Golf is a lot like business: it’s all about strategy, patience, and having a good handicap.
Golf: the only sport where it’s acceptable to taunt your opponents in a whisper.
Golf is my way of demonstrating my superior skills in swearing.
Golf is the only game where I can completely blame the equipment for my failures.
Golf is my way of proving that physics can be cruel and unpredictable.
Golf: the only sport where it’s acceptable to aim for the trees.
A bad day of golf is still better than a good day at work.
Golf: where miracles are just a lucky bounce away.
Golf is the art of mentally calculating the perfect trajectory and then completely screwing it up.
Golf: the only sport where the spectators have a higher chance of getting hit than the players.
Golf is the perfect way to spend five hours pretending to listen to someone’s life story.
Golf is the only sport where swatting at a small ball with a long stick is considered exercise.
Golf is like a marriage: lots of frustration, but the occasional moment of joy keeps you coming back for more.
Golf: the sport where you have to ask permission to break a window but not to hit a tree.
Golf is the only game where you can feel like a winner even if you lose a dozen balls.
Golf: the only sport where your competition is also your cheerleader.
I golf so I don’t have to talk to people.
Life is too short to take golf seriously.
Golf is the perfect excuse to spend a sunny day outside without actually getting any real exercise.
Golf: the only sport where you can get a sunburn and a golf swing in one day.
Golf is like a good friend who constantly reminds me that I’m not as skilled as I thought.
Golf is a game of chasing after a tiny white ball with the hopes of never finding it.
Golf is the only sport where you can go for a stroll and call it a competitive game.
Golf is a sport for those who enjoy the great outdoors and counting to double digits.
Golf: the sport where you can hit a perfect drive and still end up in the bunker.
I don’t always play golf, but when I do, it’s guaranteed to be a comedy show.
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