Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
My mother always told me, ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.’ And some people wonder why I’m so quiet.
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I realized who was telling me that.
I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter.
The only way to do great work is to love what you do. And if you can’t love what you do, become an actor and pretend to love what you do.
You have to let go of who you were to become who you will be. Or you could just wear a wig and pretend to be someone else.
I wake up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
The word ‘impossible’ is not in my dictionary. In fact, everything before the word ‘but’ is just an excuse.
I think everyone should be told they’re beautiful until they believe it… and then they should be slapped in the face with a fish.
The more you fail, the more you’re free to succeed.
If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.
You need to have a sense of humor to survive in this world. Otherwise, you’ll go insane… or become a mime.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line… with a rubber chicken.
I realized that everything really is just an illusion, except for taxes. Taxes are real.
My soul is not contained within the limits of my body; my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.
Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them. But I don’t take any opportunities. I fly first class.
As an actor, you’re supposed to take risks. But no one ever said anything about eating green eggs and ham.
If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.
I’m so optimistic, I’d go after Moby Dick in a rowboat and take the tartar sauce with me.
You can’t experience joy without first feeling pain. But you can experience pain without ever feeling joy. That’s called a math test.
If you’ve got a talent, protect it. Don’t hide it, or don’t do something that will be detrimental to it.
Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. And sometimes, it happens when you accidentally walk into a revolving door.
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.
Keep searching. Seek out and surround yourself with those who make you feel like the most authentic version of yourself, even if that means hanging out with penguins.
I try not to worry about what the critics say. I’m Jim Carrey. I can only be Jim Carrey.
The best way to make people laugh is to tell them the truth. Or dress up as a giant chicken. Either way works.
If you aren’t in the moment, you’re either looking forward to uncertainty or back to pain and regret. Or you could just be eating a sandwich.
You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world. And after you walk through those doors today, you will only ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love… and maybe some nachos.
I believe that peace lies beyond personality, beyond invention and disguise. I believe that it exists, inexplicably, outside the boundaries of time and space. Or maybe I’m just really good at hide and seek.
You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love. Or you could just stay home and eat ice cream.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through you. Unless it’s a really tall tree. Then you might want to step to the side.
You need to let the little things that would ordinarily bore you suddenly thrill you. Like watching paint dry. Or reading the dictionary.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through you. Or you could just turn on a flashlight. That works too.
I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful.
I’m really good at sports. I could have gone pro, but I decided to become a comedian instead. Don’t ask me why, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.
Maybe other people will try to limit me, but I don’t limit myself.
Either you’re the type of person who counts your blessings or the type of person who can’t count. I’ve always been more of a finger painting kind of counter.
That’s the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I’m Jim Carrey. If you’re funny, they expect you to be like a little performing monkey.
I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ‘Remember how good this is, because you can lose it.’ That is true. But not as true as ‘Remember how good looking you are, Jim.’
That’s the magic of movies. Things can be resurrected even if they die. Unless we’re talking about the pet goldfish my mom flushed down the toilet when I was a child. He’s definitely not coming back.
I think everybody should get a lot of therapy. People should take care of themselves, because your body and your mind are all connected to one thing called your soul.
If ‘Plan A’ didn’t work, then good news! There are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
I don’t make mistakes. I just have little accidents of randomness.