Tobias Funke Quotes – Hilarious Moments from Arrested Development’s Quirkiest Character

I’m an actor, I’m an artist, and I’m a failure.

I just blue myself.

There’s always money in the Banana Stand.

I’m afraid I just blue myself again.

I’m afraid I just made a huge mistake.

I’m a professional never-nude.

I’m an actor slash therapist, I’m an acting therapist.

I’m a bit of a monster.

I’m a failure as a father, but I’m beginning to be a pretty good failure as a woman.

I’m really more of a plate spinner.

I’m not a shrimp, I’m a man!

I’m not a chicken, you’re a chicken!

I’m a sex addict. It’s a real thing!

I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

I’m not a star, I’m a talent.

I’m a recovering comma-holic.

I’m an artist, I’m sensitive to my work.

I’m always looking for something to fill this hole.

I’m unbreakable!

I’m addicted to coffee and cigarettes.

I’m a constant victim of comedy.

I’m an analrapist, and damn proud of it.

I’m a man, I’m a man!

I’m a doctor, but not the kind that helps people.

I am a never-nude. There are dozens of us!

I’m a professional floor model.

I’m an actor, I’m here to entertain you!

Tobias Funke Quotes – Hilarious Moments from Arrested Development’s Quirkiest Character part 2

I’m a pacifist, but if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna slap your face!

I’m a danger to my own buttocks.

I’m a magician with words.

I am a total pro.

I’m a magician in the kitchen, a surgeon in the living room, and a lover in the bedroom.

I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star!

I’m invincible!

I’m a smart, strong, sensual woman.

I’m a sucker for a man in uniform.

I’m a giver, I always give in the bedroom.

I’m a loose cannon, but I get results.

I’m a man of many talents.

I’m a master of disguise, I can be anyone I want to be.

I’m a perfectionist, I can’t settle for anything less than perfect.

I’m a believer in the power of positive thinking.

I’m a poet, and I don’t even know it.

I’m a fan of myself, I think I’m pretty great.

I’m a bundle of contradictions, but that’s what makes me interesting.