Timeless Wisdom – The Most Memorable Homer Simpson Quotes

D’oh! The sound of my life’s biggest mistakes.

If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

The only thing better than a donut is a donut in each hand.

You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.

I don’t have a cow, man!

I am not a bad guy. I work hard, and I love my kids.

It’s not a lie if you believe it.

You know, a lifetime of working with children has made me miserable.

This is my happy face.

I thought I was going to die, but I didn’t. So it was a win!

I have no short-term memory. I don’t remember what I said.

Why can’t we be friends? Oh, right, you’re a horrible person.

Oh, I don’t need to tell you why I’m here. You’re the one who called me.

The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.

I don’t need a license to drive a sandwich!

The lesson is, never take life too seriously.

Well, it’s a living!

I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

My brain is huge; it’s the rest of my body that’s the problem.

The best part of waking up is still being in bed.

Timeless Wisdom – The Most Memorable Homer Simpson Quotes part 2

Gah! I can’t believe I ever wanted to be a grown-up.

I’m not a bad parent; I’m just a misunderstood genius.

I can’t find my remote; I guess I’ll just change the channel with my mind.

I couldn’t possibly comment on that – my silence speaks volumes!

Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.

Why is it that every time I think I’m out, they pull me back in?

I don’t need sleep; I need a snack!

I came, I saw, I ate.

You miss 100% of the naps you don’t take.

If something’s wrong with my family, I don’t want to know about it.

I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode.

I can’t believe you thought of that; I was just about to say it!

You had me at donut.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my weekends long.

If at first you don’t succeed, just give up.

Ah, sweet, sweet ignorance!

The only thing I get out of bed for is pizza.

I am a part-time optimist; full-time pizza lover.

The secret to happiness is not caring about things.

Many people are in a bad mood; I’m just in my mood.

I wish I could be as thin as my paycheck.

A balanced diet is having a cookie in each hand.

Sometimes I think the best way to solve a problem is to ignore it.

Life is like a donut; it’s full of holes, but that’s what makes it sweet.