Tees, Laughs, and Golf Jokes – A Round-Up of Funny Golf Sayings

Golf: the only sport where you yell ‘fore’, shoot six, and write down five.

I play golf because it’s a great excuse to wear pants that don’t fit anymore.

Golf: the art of taking a perfect swing for the ball to not even notice.

Why do golfers bring two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!

Golfers are like stars; they always have that perfect drive!

I tried to play golf, but I kept hitting my ball into the water. Now I’m a mermaid.

Golf isn’t just a game; it’s an elaborate excuse for bad language.

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m now only crying on the inside.

Golf: where the grass is always greener on the other side of the fairway.

A bad day on the golf course still beats a good day at the office.

Why do golfers love nature? Because they get to putt in the great outdoors!

Every time I slice the ball, it’s just my way of decorating the course.

Some people bring their A-game; I bring my C-game to the golf course.

Golf tip: If you’re going to miss the ball, at least miss it stylishly.

I’m on the ultimate diet: I only eat what I can hit into the sand trap.

They say golf is a good walk spoiled; I call it a fantastic stroll with friends.

When in doubt, just blame the wind †it’s the golf pro’s secret!

Golf: the sport where you can hit a ball and still find your way to the bar.

Tees, Laughs, and Golf Jokes – A Round-Up of Funny Golf Sayings part 2

If I had a dollar for every bad swing, I could buy a new set of clubs.

I play golf because it gives me a reason to wear a visor and pretend I’m cool.

On the golf course, I’m not lost; I’m just exploring my options!

I finally got a hole in one †and it was in my bag!

Golf: because running around chasing a ball just isn’t classy enough.

The secret to a good golf game? Pretend the ball is your boss!

Why do we never tell secrets on the golf course? Because the greens have ears!

My golf game is like a rollercoaster; it has its ups and downs!

I’ve got 99 problems, but a swing ain’t one!

I wanted to be a golf pro, but I couldn’t find the fairway to success!

Golf: the only time I feel comfortable talking to myself in public.

The more I practice golf, the more I realize I need a therapist!

Why do golfers always carry an extra pencil? In case they need to draw a new line!

They say golf is a mental game; I must’ve left my brain at home.

I’m convinced the golf gods have a twisted sense of humor!

Golf: where ‘fore!’ is just an appetizer before the main course of frustration.

Why was the golfer so good at math? He was amazing at calculating his strokes!

Swing, swang, and swing again †that’s my golf technique.

Golf is the only sport where you can lose just by standing in the wrong spot.

I’m not bad at golf; I just make the game a lot more interesting!

You know you’re a golfer when you find yourself talking strategy with your golf clubs.

Golf is simply a game of inches; too bad I can’t find any of them.

I told my golf ball about my hole-in-one already; it was thrilled!

Why did the golfer break up with his girlfriend? She kept throwing him off par!

A good golf score is like a unicorn; it sounds magical but probably doesn’t exist.

You might be a golfer if your favorite number is par †par-tee time!

Golf: where the grass is always greener because it’s been watered by tears.

My golf ball has a better social life than I do; it’s always going out of bounds!

Golf †the only sport where you can shout ‘fore’ and still be a lady.

Why did the golfer cross the road? To get to the other tee!

The best way to get your golf game together? Just add a pinch of humor!

In golf and in life, timing is everything †too bad I never get it right!