Ted: Have you accepted Ted as your snuggly bear and personal savior?
Ted: Don’t worry, I’m like a tampon. I’ll take care of it.
Ted: I’m not a great swimmer, but I excel at doggy paddling.
John: Ted, you’re my thunder buddy for life.
Ted: If I had a penis, I’d be the first one to sit down when I pee.
Ted: I may not be a smart bear, but I know what love is.
Ted: I’m just a teddy bear, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him.
Ted: Life is full of surprises. Like the time I found out I could use a bong as a hat.
John: Ted, you’re like the best friend a guy could have.
Ted: You don’t need drugs when you have a talking teddy bear.
Ted: Time flies when you’re having fun. Or when you’re high on pot.
Ted: I may not be a real boy, but I’ve got a real heart.
Ted: I may not have a lot of fur, but I’ve got a lot of love.
Ted: Just because I’m a teddy bear doesn’t mean I can’t party.
Ted: If life gives you lemons, make a bong out of them.
Ted: Who needs a job when you can be a professional mischief-maker?
Ted: Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.
Ted: I’m not a normal teddy bear. I’m a cool teddy bear.
Ted: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. And then beat ’em at their own game.
Ted: The key to happiness is a bong, some buddies, and a lot of laughs.
Ted: Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes, you just have to force the pieces together.
Ted: I’m not fat, I’m fluffy. And cuddly. And awesome.
Ted: Love is like a bong hit. It hits you right in the feels.
Ted: Life is too short to be taken seriously. Embrace your inner child and have fun.
Ted: I may not have a driver’s license, but I’m a master of the remote control.
Ted: Don’t judge a teddy bear by its fluffy exterior. I’m full of surprises.
Ted: I don’t need a magic carpet to find adventure. I’ve got my imagination and a talking teddy bear.
Ted: Love is like a joint. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions.
Ted: Life is a wild ride. Hold on tight and enjoy the journey.
Ted: I may not have opposable thumbs, but I know how to have a good time.
Ted: Real friends stick together, even when the going gets tough.
Ted: Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s best enjoyed with a friend.
Ted: I may not have a job, but I’ve got an important job of making people laugh.
Ted: Don’t worry about the future, just enjoy the present moment.
Ted: I may not have a college degree, but I’m a master of mischief.
Ted: Love is like a teddy bear. It’s soft, comforting, and always there for you.
Ted: Life is like a bong hit. Inhale the good, exhale the bad.
Ted: I may not have a lot of possessions, but I have a heart full of love.
Ted: Friends are like joints. They make everything better.
Ted: Life is too short to hold grudges. Let go and embrace forgiveness.
Ted: I may not have a job, but I’ve got a lot of life experience.
Ted: Love is like a bong. It can take you to new heights.
Ted: Life is like a comedy show. You never know what’s going to happen next.
Ted: I may not be the smartest bear, but I know how to have a good time.
Ted: Love is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs, but it’s always an adventure.
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