Step Brothers Quotes

Did we just become best friends? Yup!

I will wipe my own ass, thank you.

I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home.

You have to call me Dragon.

I heard you farting in your sleep, you better cut that out.

This is a house of learned doctors.

I’ll put my nutsack on your drum set.

Prestige worldwide, wide, wide.

I’m burying you, alive! Exclamation point!

I’ve never trusted a man who doesn’t drink.

We’re men, okay? That means a few things; we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do.

I wasn’t gonna sell meth, bitch!

You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.

I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.

There’s so many activities!

We put liquid paper on a bee, and it died!

I got a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?

You don’t say that about Pam. She’s a nice lady!

I’m gonna take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

You can call me Nighthawk.

I’m not gonna call him Dad, even if there’s a fire!

The kid’s a savage. He’s a man-child.

The clown has no penis.

You don’t have to call me ‘Dad’, just don’t call me ‘late for dinner’.

First I’ll grab some sour cream, and then I’ll grab some ranch dip. And then I’ll grab some chili together, and then I’ll put some cheese on top.

This looks like a movie stunt job.

I didn’t touch your drum set. I touched your drumsticks, and then cleaned them up.

I’m not going to bury you in a hole, I’m going to bury you in the ground, right next to my momma.

Hi. I’m Dale, but you have to call me ‘Dragon.’ I’m one of the owners of ‘Boats N’ Hoes’.

I will permit you one final opportunity to apologize.

I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s old enough, I’m putting her in a home.

You better not go cryin’ to your Daddy!

This is your fucking nightmare.

We may not be the smartest guys, but we know one thing: pandas are dope!

Dale, why are you so touchy with your nuts?

Does this house smell of rich mahogany?

You’re obviously not a golfer.

You want a whole series of you and a dog shitting out pancakes?

I’m burying you, alive! Exclamation point!

I’m here to fuck shit up.

You know shark week? That’s all the time for me and Brennan.

Do you want to go do karate in the garage?

Holy Santa Claus shit!

Brennan, you’re 39 years old. I wouldn’t expect you to call someone Daddy.

We’re not gonna fight you, we’re gonna kick your ass!