Southern Sayings

Bless your heart, you’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Well, bless your little pea-picking heart!

It’s hotter than a jalapeno pepper in a pot of chili down here.

I’m as happy as a pig in mud.

She’s slicker than a minnow in a creek.

He’s as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

He’s as slow as molasses in January.

You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

I’m fixin’ to head out to the store.

He’s all hat and no cattle.

Well, I’ll be fried green tomatoes!

She’s sweeter than a peach cobbler.

That boy is dumber than a box of rocks.

She’s as busy as a cat burying shit on a marble floor.

I’m about as country as cornbread.

You’re shinier than a butter knife in a biscuit tin.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

She’s dumber than a bag of hammers.

Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash.

She’s as pretty as a magnolia in bloom.

Y’all come back now, ya hear?

He’s saltier than a boiled peanut.

She’s as sharp as a cotton gin blade.

I’m busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.

He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if he was inside it.

Well, butter my biscuit!

She’s got more nerve than a toothache.

He’s grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ sweet taters.

I’m plumb worn out.

She’s crazier than a sprayed roach.

He’s crazier than a pet coon.

That boy don’t have the sense God gave a goose.

I’m happier than a pig in slop.

He’s as sly as a fox in a henhouse.

She’s as sweet as peach pie.

He’s stubborn as a mule.

I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

She’s got more sass than a sweet tea.

He’s as rough around the edges as a country road.

I’m as happy as a clam at high tide.

She’s as pretty as a field of wildflowers.

He’s slicker than a greased pig at the county fair.

I’m as full as a tick on a hound dog.

She’s as cute as a June bug in a jar.