Sarcastic Badass Quotes

Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize your opinion was the only one that mattered.

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

I’m not a morning person. I’m not an afternoon person. Hell, I’m not even an evening person. Just don’t talk to me.

I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.

I don’t hold grudges, I hold a list of people who are dead to me.

I don’t have an attitude problem, I simply have a personality you can’t handle.

If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.

I don’t need your permission to be sarcastic, it’s in my DNA.

I’m not here to fit in, I’m here to stand out.

I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Sarcasm is my superpower, what’s yours?

I don’t have an off switch, I’m on sarcasm mode 24/7.

Excuse me, but I’m not here for your approval.

If being sarcastic was a job, I’d be the CEO.

I might have a resting bitch face, but at least I have a personality.

I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. There’s a difference.

I don’t suffer from a lack of patience, I suffer from a lack of idiots.

I’m done explaining myself to people who don’t even listen.

I’m allergic to stupidity, that’s why I avoid people like you.

Sarcastic Badass Quotes part 2

I don’t have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.

I’m not mean, I’m brutally honest. It’s not my fault that you can’t handle the truth.

It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I don’t care enough to pretend that I do.

I may look calm, but in my head, I’ve already killed you three times.

I’m not trying to be difficult, it just comes naturally to me.

I’m too busy working on my sarcasm game, I don’t have time for your drama.

I’m not mean, you’re just a sensitive little snowflake.

I apologize in advance for not caring about your irrelevant issues.

I didn’t choose the sarcastic life, the sarcastic life chose me.

If sarcasm was a sport, I’d be a gold medalist.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

I’m not a people person, I’m a selective person. And you’re not selected.

I didn’t mean to offend you with my sarcasm, oh wait, yes I did.

I may look sweet and innocent, but my sarcasm knows no boundaries.

If sarcasm were an art form, I’d be Picasso.

Sorry if my sarcastic tone is too advanced for your comprehension.

I’m not a hater, I just have a low tolerance for stupidity.

You know, they say sarcasm is a sign of intelligence. Guess I’m a genius then.

I don’t need reality checks, I have sarcasm to keep me grounded.

I’m not angry, I’m just sarcastically pointing out your stupidity.

Sarcasm is my second language, because it’s so much more fun than the first.

I’m not rude, I’m just honest. You should try it sometime.

If I were a superhero, my superpower would be sarcasm.

Sorry, I can’t think of a single damn given to give about your opinion.

I’m allergic to drama, but I’ve got sarcasm to keep me entertained.

I don’t need validation from anyone, I’m perfectly content with my own awesomeness.