Petty quotes for him

I can’t decide if I love you or love to annoy you.

I hope you stub your toe on the corner of every piece of furniture.

You bring out the pettiness in me.

I hope someone always steals your parking spot.

You’re the reason I hide the good snacks.

I hope all your movies have the sound just slightly out of sync.

You’re the reason I have trust issues.

If karma doesn’t get you, I will.

You make my sarcastic side come out in full force.

I hope you always miss the elevator by a second.

You’re the reason I give out fake phone numbers.

I hope your WiFi signal is always weak.

You’re the reason I give backhanded compliments.

I hope you always step on a LEGO when you least expect it.

You bring out the worst in me, and I love it.

I hope you always get stuck in traffic when you’re running late.

You’re the reason I don’t trust easily anymore.

I hope you always get the squeaky shopping cart.

You bring out my inner queen of passive-aggression.

I hope you always have a pebble in your shoe that you can’t find.

You’re the reason I turn off read receipts.

I hope you always have a TV remote with dead batteries.

You make me want to be the pettiest version of myself.

I hope you always have crumbs in your bed.

You’re the reason I have a secret stash of chocolate.

I hope you always find a parking ticket on your windshield.

You make my eye roll muscles stronger.

I hope you always get the wobbly table at restaurants.

You’re the reason I leave passive-aggressive sticky notes.

I hope you always get the middle seat on an airplane.

You bring out the snarky side of me.

I hope you always have a slow internet connection.

You’re the reason I mute group chats.

I hope you always have a shirt with a stubborn stain.

You make me want to be the queen of sarcasm.

I hope you always have a door that squeaks.

You’re the reason I use my friend’s Netflix account.

I hope you always have a pen that runs out of ink.

You’re the reason I have a collection of petty revenge stories.

I hope you always have a fly buzzing in your face.

You bring out the petty side in me, and I don’t mind.

I hope you always spill coffee on your favorite shirt.

You’re the reason I have a playlist of passive-aggressive songs.

I hope you always forget your umbrella on a rainy day.

You make me want to be the queen of pettiness.