Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes

I’m not dead yet! – Brave Sir Robin

Bring out your dead! – Cart Driver

It’s only a flesh wound. – Black Knight

We are the knights who say ‘Ni!’ – The Knights Who Say Ni

What’s your favorite color? – Sir Lancelot

I fart in your general direction. – French Soldier

I’m not a witch, I’m your wife! – Woman in Village

Spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam! – Vikings

Have you come to arrange a holiday, or are you going to attack us? – French Soldier

It’s a flesh wound! Come back here and I’ll bite your legs off! – Black Knight

There are some who call me… Tim. – Tim the Enchanter

Well, we did do the nose. – Knights of Camelot

You’re a looney! – French Soldier

She’s a witch! Burn her! – Villager

I’m 37, I’m not old! – Dennis the Peasant

I blow my nose at you, you silly English k-nig-hts! – French Soldier

I’m in charge here! – The Black Beast of Aaargh

And the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.’ – Brother Maynard

You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! – French Soldier

It’s the body odor. – Sir Bedevere

Monty Python and the Holy Grail Quotes part 2

I’m French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent? – French Soldier

I don’t want to go on the cart! – Not Dead Fred

I have to push the pram-a-lot! – Sir Lancelot

Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! – Dennis the Peasant

He hasn’t got shit all over him. – King Arthur

I like a nice little nap in the afternoon. – Sir Lancelot

Camelot? It’s only a model. – King Arthur

Is there someone else up there we could talk to? – King Arthur

I’m King of the Britons! – King Arthur

It’s a bit runny. – Waitress

We found them. May we burn them? – Mayor of Swamp Castle

What do you mean? An African or European swallow? – King Arthur

How do we know if she is made of wood? – Sir Bedevere

Yes, I think so, unless a five weighs the same as a duck. – Sir Bedevere

You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! – Dennis the Peasant

A spanking! A spanking! – Zoot

Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say ‘Ni’ at will to old ladies. – Roger the Shrubber

You don’t frighten us with your silly knees-bent running around advancing behavior! – French Soldier

What is your quest? – Bridgekeeper

I told them we already got one. – Sir Bedevere

We are now the Knights Who Say ‘Ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing, z’nourrwringmm.’ – The Knights Who Say Ni

Run away! Run away! – Knights of Camelot

If we built this large wooden badger… – Sir Bedevere

Right! One… two… five! – Sir Bedevere

I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge! – King Arthur