Mean quotes

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Who needs enemies when you have friends like you?

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how amazing I am.

If stupidity were a superpower, you would be unstoppable.

The only thing smaller than your ego is your IQ.

If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.

You’re like a slinky – completely useless, but still bring a smile to my face when I push you down the stairs.

I’m not saying you’re stupid, but you could give a dictionary a headache.

If dumb was a color, you would be a rainbow.

I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.

You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse.

I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

If there was a contest for being petty, you would win first place.

Maybe if you ate makeup, you would be pretty on the inside.

I thought I had seen it all, but then I met you.

You’re not completely useless – you can always serve as a bad example.

I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.

If you were twice as smart, you would still be half as smart as me.

Do you ever wonder why people dislike you so much? Think about it.

I’m not a pessimist – I’m a realist, and you just keep proving me right.

I’m sorry that you’re offended, but maybe the problem is you.

I’m not saying you’re a terrible person, but I am saying I’m not a fan.

I can’t help but feel sorry for you – you were obviously born with a face only a mother could love.

I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to power an ant’s motorcycle around the inside of a cheerio.

I don’t mean to insult you, but you’re making it so easy.

I’m not saying you’re ugly, but if you were a spice, you would be flour.

Some people bring joy wherever they go; you bring joy whenever you go.

I’m not a doctor, but I think you might need a serious reality check.

You should be grateful that you’re not as boring as you look.

I’m glad you think so highly of yourself, because no one else does.

I would give you a penny for your thoughts, but they’re not even worth that.

You must have a lot of mirrors in your house, because you seem to enjoy reflecting on your mistakes.

I’m sorry, but I just can’t take you seriously when you talk.

If you were any dumber, someone would have to water you twice a week.

You’re like a goldfish – only good for filling up a tank and doing absolutely nothing else.

You’d be more fun to be around if you weren’t around.

You’re nobody’s favorite person – not even your own.

I’m not saying you’re a nerd, but you could give Sheldon Cooper a run for his money.

Maybe if you stopped being such a drama queen, people would actually listen to you.

You have the personality of a wet blanket – cold, damp, and completely uninteresting.

If I had a dollar for every time you did something stupid, I would be rich.

I’m not saying you’re a bad person, but you make some really awful life choices.

I’m sorry, were you talking? I must have been too busy not caring.

You’re like a broken pencil – pointless and unable to write anything meaningful.