Tony Stark: Loki, can you pass the salt please? Loki: Pass the what? I am the god of mischief, not the god of seasoning!
Thor: I won’t tolerate any sass! Tony Stark: Oh really? Because I’m pretty sure your ‘hammer time’ dance moves say otherwise.
Steve Rogers: I can’t believe you didn’t know Bucky was the Winter Soldier. Tony Stark: I have a hard time keeping track of my own suits, let alone everyone else’s secret identities!
Peter Parker: You know, I can climb walls and shoot webs, but I still struggle with parallel parking. Go figure.
Natasha Romanoff: I heard you were an excellent pilot, Peter Quill. Peter Quill: Well, I did once crash an entire spaceship into a shopping mall, so take that as you will.
Wanda Maximoff: Why is there a ‘Quicksilver was here’ sign in the middle of the Avengers Tower? Pietro Maximoff: I wanted to make sure everyone knew that I’m the fastest Avenger.
Scott Lang: Hey, Fury, can I borrow your patch? I want to see what it’s like to be a badass spy. Nick Fury: Sure, but don’t expect it to give you my level of coolness.
Dr. Strange: I have the power to bend reality and control time. Tony Stark: Great, can you use that power to create a time machine so I can go back and fix my mistakes?
Gamora: Why do you always carry that knife with you, Peter? Peter Quill: You never know when you’ll need to open a bag of chips.
Rocket: I’m not a raccoon, I’m a genetically enhanced alien creature! Groot: I am Groot. Rocket: Okay, maybe I’m a raccoon.
Tony Stark: I’m not saying I’m Iron Man, but have you ever seen us in the same room together? Pepper Potts: Tony, you’re not fooling anyone.
Bruce Banner: Hulk, smash! Tony Stark: Could you maybe just ‘Hulk, fold laundry’ instead?
Peter Parker: Mr. Stark, I can’t fight aliens. I can barely handle high school. Tony Stark: Welcome to the Avengers, where we fight aliens and write essays at the same time.
Loki: I’m the god of mischief, not the god of dental hygiene. Thor: Maybe you should be, considering the state of your teeth.
Gamora: Rocket, you can’t just steal everyone’s stuff. Rocket: But it’s shiny and it fits in my pocket!
Natasha Romanoff: Have you seen my ballet shoes anywhere? Tony Stark: I think Captain America used them as frisbees during training.
Peter Quill: I can’t believe I’m stuck on this spaceship with a bunch of aliens. Drax: I can’t believe I’m stuck on this spaceship with a bunch of out-of-touch Earthlings.
Scott Lang: I can’t believe I shrunk myself down to the size of an ant. Tony Stark: Welcome to the Marvel universe, where the impossible becomes possible.
Gamora: I heard you got into a fight with a raccoon, Clint. Clint Barton: Yeah, turns out they’re pretty tough opponents.
Thor: I don’t understand why humans are so obsessed with Avengers merchandise. Loki: It’s because they want to be as glamorous and powerful as us.
Steve Rogers: Tony, you really need to stop testing your super suits on unsuspecting civilians. Tony Stark: Hey, they signed a waiver.
Peter Parker: I can’t believe I’m fighting alongside the Avengers. Tony Stark: Just don’t forget to do your homework after saving the world.
Wanda Maximoff: Vision, can you make me a cup of tea? Vision: I am capable of many things, but making tea is not one of them.
Rocket: Gamora, can you lend me some money? Gamora: What happened to all the units you stole from Tony Stark?
Peter Quill: I can’t believe I have to save the galaxy again. Drax: I’m with you, Quill. Can’t we just take a nap instead?
Natasha Romanoff: I’m a highly trained assassin, and yet I still struggle with basic math. Tony Stark: Numbers are overrated, Natasha.
Scott Lang: I’m Ant-Man, defender of the insect world. Clint Barton: I’m Hawkeye, defender of… uh, the birds?
Peter Parker: I’m Spider-Man, and I’m here to save the day! Tony Stark: Just be sure to save your homework as well, Parker.
Gamora: Peter, you can’t just dance your way out of every problem. Peter Quill: Watch me.
Thor: Is this Allfather burger restaurant really ruled by my father, Odin? Loki: No, it’s ruled by an eccentric billionaire who thinks he’s a Norse god.
Scott Lang: I can shrink down to the size of an ant. Tony Stark: Congratulations, you’re the perfect candidate for my new bug spray.
Peter Parker: I can’t believe I have to wear this spandex suit all the time. Natasha Romanoff: Just be glad you’re not wearing a full-body leather suit like me.
Wanda Maximoff: Vision, can you read the future? Vision: No, but I can calculate the probability of your plans failing.
Rocket: Groot, have you seen my blaster anywhere? Groot: I am Groot. Rocket: Yeah, I figured you’d say that.
Tony Stark: I have a suit for every occasion. Spider-Man: Do you have a suit for awkward family reunions?
Steve Rogers: Natasha, can you teach me some of your spy moves? Natasha Romanoff: Only if you promise not to break any bones.
Peter Quill: I think we should name our spaceship ‘The Milano.’ Rocket: I think we should name it ‘The Raccoon’s Revenge.’
Scott Lang: I can’t believe I’m fighting alongside Captain America. Tony Stark: Just be glad he hasn’t asked you to go jogging with him yet.
Drax: I am invisible. Peter Quill: Drax, you’re standing right in front of me.
Gamora: Clint, please stop shooting arrows into my room. Clint Barton: I’m just trying to keep my aim sharp, Gamora.
Peter Parker: Tony, I think my spider-sense is broken. Tony Stark: It’s probably just overwhelmed by your constant teenage anxiety.
Thor: I should be able to wield any weapon, considering I’m the god of thunder. Loki: Maybe you should start with a guitar.
Scott Lang: I can’t believe I’m friends with a talking raccoon. Rocket: I can’t believe I’m friends with a guy who can shrink down to the size of an ant.
Natasha Romanoff: I can’t believe I’ve been mistaken for a ballerina so many times. Bruce Banner: Maybe it’s your graceful fighting moves.
Tony Stark: I’m sorry for all the times I made fun of your arrows, Clint. Clint Barton: Apology accepted, but just remember, I’m always watching.
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