Lucy van Pelt Quotes

I have a way with words, and by ‘way’ I mean the inability to keep my opinion to myself.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

I may be small, but my attitude is extra large.

When life gives you lemons, demand to see the manager.

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.

If sarcasm was a superpower, I’d be unstoppable.

I don’t need a prince charming, I need someone who can handle my sarcasm.

I speak fluent sarcasm. It’s like a secret language.

I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

My hobbies include overthinking and eye-rolling.

I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

I’m not mean, I’m brutally honest. It’s not my fault truth hurts.

Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I can still tell you to go to hell in a way that you’ll look forward to the trip.

I’m not a princess. I don’t need saving. I’m a queen. I got this.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me bossy, I’d have a whole lot of new shoes.

The only thing standing between me and greatness is my complete lack of motivation.

I’m not lazy, I’m selectively productive.

I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I’m blaming you.

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

I’m sorry, but I can’t be held responsible for listening to your boring stories.

Lucy van Pelt Quotes part 2

I’m not grumpy, everyone else is just too cheery.

I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.

I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social. There’s a difference.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll be happy to do it for you.

I prefer my puns intended.

If being sarcastic burned calories, I’d be the size of a supermodel.

I’d apologize for my sarcasm, but I’m not sorry.

I don’t sugarcoat anything. I’m not Willy Wonka.

I’m not a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?

I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me.

I’m not shy, I’m just quietly evaluating your dumbness.

I’m often sarcastic because punching people is frowned upon.

I’m not being mean, I’m being brutally honest. There’s a difference.

I don’t have exes. I have Ys. Y the hell did I date you?

I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I need a sarcastic sidekick.

I don’t have the patience for stupid people. Bye.

If being sarcastic was a sport, I’d be an Olympic gold medalist.

My sarcasm levels are dangerously high. Approach with caution.

I’m fluent in sarcasm, wit, and sass. It’s my love language.

I don’t need your approval. I have my own fan club.

I don’t have time for negativity. I’m too busy conquering the world.

I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m asleep.

I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.

I’m not a therapist, but I can listen to your problems with a sarcastic twist.

I’m not here to fit into your world. I’m here to create my own.