I don’t really feel like a grown-up. I feel like a kid who’s pretending to be a grown-up.
Im not a dad, but if I was, I would want to be the best wrong example ever.
I like to think of myself as a humorous observer of lifes absurdities.
Theres something sad about people who dont get excited about their lives.
If I could, I would tell my younger self to appreciate the small moments.
The best part of my day is when I decide to be profoundly unproductive.
Life is just a series of awkward moments punctuated by a few great conversations.
I prefer dessert over almost anything. Especially if its chocolate.
People say you should never meet your heroes, but I think thats where the fun begins.
Comedy is just how I cope with the chaos of existence.
Theres beauty in vulnerability, especially when shared through laughter.
If you cant laugh at yourself, then whats the point?
I have a talent for taking impossible situations and making them laughable.
Sometimes you just need to make a really bad decision to have a great story.
Life is like a treadmill. You run and run but never really get anywhere.
Stories are my favorite form of escapism, just with a pinch of reality.
I like my coffee like I like my humor: dark and strong.
Growing up is realizing that everyone else is just as lost as you are.
Theres nothing funnier than someone who takes themselves too seriously.
Inspiring and Hilarious – The Best John Mulaney Quotes to Live By part 2
Every year I tell myself Ill be more organized-and every year I fail spectacularly.
Humor allows us to confront the chaos without having to be entirely serious.
If awkwardness were an Olympic sport, Id be a gold medalist.
I think the craziest stories always happen when you least expect them.
Theres a fine line between bravery and stupidity, and I usually dance on it.
Life is too short not to make a complete fool of yourself sometimes.
To me, every mundane situation has the potential to be a hilarious story.
Sometimes its hard to know if youre growing up or just growing old.
If I ever run for office, my slogan would be: Lets make awkward happen!
Being an adult is basically just a marathon of What am I doing with my life?
I believe in turning embarrassing moments into the highlights of our lives.
Everyone has that friend who makes even the weirdest moments memorable.
Im just trying to turn my catastrophes into one-liners.
The best topics for comedy are the ones that touch our hearts.
Laughter is the safety net we all need when life gets uncomfortable.
One of lifes greatest joys is sharing laughter with good friends.
The older I get, the more I realize authenticity is the best form of comedy.
My humor is like a fine wine-it gets better with age, or so I like to tell myself.
I can always find the funny side in a stressful situation; its what keeps me sane.
Ive learned that its okay to be a little ridiculous every now and then.
The absurdities of life are what make for the best punchlines.
I want my life to be a laughter-filled series of unexpected moments.
Theres a special magic in the blend of truth and humor.
If life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
I thrive on spontaneity; its the spice of humor.
A good joke can turn a horrible day into a memorable one.
Theres a deeper connection when we laugh about our shared struggles.
I always try to find joy even in the weirdest of situations.
In my opinion, life is like a sketch-full of scribbles and laughter.
The best advice Ive ever received is to embrace my inner weirdo.
At the end of the day, I just want to make people smile and laugh.
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