Humorous Quotes About Libraries

I tried to find humor in the Dewey Decimal System, but all I found was a bunch of numbers.

I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia…they whispered, ‘They’re over there, but don’t tell anyone.’

Why did the librarian win the lottery? Because she knows how to draw attention!

The librarian told me to speak softly and carry a big bookmark.

I wanted to tell a good library joke, but all the punchlines were overdue.

I asked the librarian where I could find books about patience…they said, ‘I’ll check for you in a minute.’

I used to have a fear of libraries, but then I found some shelf-help books.

I asked the librarian for a book on acupressure, and she gave me a big thump on the head.

Why did the librarian bring a ladder to the library? They wanted to reach the high shelves of humor!

I asked the librarian if they had any books about laziness, but they said I had to look for myself.

I tried to write a book about libraries, but I couldn’t find any characters.

Why did the librarian always carry a broom? To sweep away the bookworms!

I asked the librarian if they had any books about impatience, and they said, ‘I’ll get back to you…eventually.’

I asked the librarian if they had any books on time management, and they said, ‘I’ll check the schedule.’

Why did the librarian become a stand-up comedian? They wanted to check out some laughs!

Humorous Quotes About Libraries part 2

I asked the librarian if they had any books on humor in the workplace, and they replied, ‘Sorry, we’re all booked.’

I tried to give the librarian a joke book, but they said it was too punny.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on conspiracy theories, and they said, ‘Illuminati confirm or deny any existance!’

Why did the book disappear from the library? It went on a shelf-help journey.

I asked the librarian if they had any books about gardening, and they said, ‘We leaf that to the experts.’

I asked the librarian if they had any books on the meaning of life, and they said, ‘You’ll find that in the fiction section.’

Why did the librarian bring a compass to the library? They wanted to navigate through all the book genres!

I asked the librarian if they had any books on procrastination, and they handed me an empty shelf.

Why did the librarian bring a dictionary to a party? They wanted to spice up the wordplay!

I asked the librarian if they had any books on forgetfulness, and they said, ‘I can’t remember if we do.’

Why did the librarian wear sunglasses to work? They wanted to cover their book ’em eyes!

I asked the librarian to recommend a funny book, and they said, ‘Sorry, we only carry punchlines.’

Why did the librarian start a comedy club? For all the bookworms who wanted to ‘check-out’ some laughs!

I asked the librarian for a book on DIY projects, and they said, ‘We’ve been shelving those ideas for a while.’

I tried to organize a comedy show at the library, but all the jokes were overdue.

Why did the librarian become a magician? They wanted to avoid all the ‘abracadabra’-ry.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on self-confidence, and they said, ‘You’ll find it under ‘c’ for ‘courage.’

Why did the librarian participate in a marathon? They wanted to get ahead in the race…of checking out books!

I asked the librarian if they had any books on public speaking, and they handed me an empty shelf with a note that said, ‘Just pretend to be confident.’

Why did the librarian become a detective? They wanted to solve the mystery of the missing bookmarks!

I asked the librarian for a book on speed reading, and they said, ‘Just look for the one with the bookmark on the last page.’

Why did the librarian start a rock band? They wanted to ‘check out’ their music in all genres!

I asked the librarian if they had any books on comedy writing, and they said, ‘We’re still waiting for punchlines.’

Why did the librarian bring a magnifying glass to the library? They wanted to read between the lines!

I asked the librarian if they had any books on sarcasm, and they replied, ‘Oh sure, we have an entire collection of ‘helpful’ books.’

Why did the librarian dress up like a superhero? They wanted to fight the evil powers of overdue books!

I asked the librarian if they had any books on time travel, and they said, ‘We can go back in time…about two weeks.’

Why did the librarian start a cooking show? They wanted to share all their ‘book’ of recipes!

I asked the librarian for a book on astronomy, and they handed me a map to the stars…in the fiction section.

Why did the librarian become a stand-up comedian? They wanted to shelve their fears and find some laughter!