Life is too short to eat boring food.
I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and I eat it.
My relationship status: In a committed relationship with food.
I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.
No onion, no problem. I’ll just cry at something else.
Everything tastes better with sprinkles.
The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating it.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I’m on a whiskey diet, I’ve lost three days already.
I don’t cry when I cut onions. I just tell them how much I love them and that they’re going to a better place.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
I’m not a vegetarian, I just prefer animals over plants.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
I’m on a wine diet. I’ve lost three days already.
I’m not a chef, but I can burn water.
I’m not a foodie, I’m a connoisseur of snacks.
If you can’t remember my name, just call me Pizza and I’ll still respond.
I like to pig out, but I also like to eat like a boss.
No matter how annoying life gets, you can always count on pizza.
Food is my love language. Feed me and I’ll love you forever.
I don’t trust people who don’t like pizza.
I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.
I’m not a baker, but I can make a mean toast.
I never feel guilty about eating dessert, because I can’t feel guilty about something that brings me joy.
I can resist everything except temptation… and chocolate.
Salsa is just tomatoes doing the cha-cha-cha.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.
I don’t need anger management, I just need more chocolate.
Ice cream is cheaper than therapy.
I’m sorry I can’t make it to your event. I already have a date with my fridge.
Food is the best medicine for a bad day.
The only thing that comes close to the joy of eating is the joy of talking about eating.
I may not be a chef, but I’m definitely a spaghetti enthusiast.
I don’t need an alarm clock, my breakfast is the best wake-up call.
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that’s kind of the same thing.
I’m not a food snob, I just have high standards when it comes to taste.
There’s no we in fries, but there’s me and u in cupcakes.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of the mirror!
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch…I call it lunch.
I’m no chef, but I can sure spice things up in the kitchen.
I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode.
I’m not a chef, but I can make instant noodles like a pro.
I love food so much, I would marry it if I could.
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