Funny Cop Sayings

FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites
  • I’ve got my cop face on today, watch out!
  • If you see me running, try to keep up!
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right!
  • You can’t handle the truth, but I’ll give it to you anyway!
  • I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person who happens to work as a cop!
  • I don’t break the law, I enforce it!
  • I don’t have a quota, but I do have a ticket book.
  • If you think this uniform is hot, try wearing it in summer!
  • I’m a cop, not a magician, but I’ll make your problems disappear!
  • You have the right to remain silent, but I have the right to make you talk!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a part-time therapist and mediator!
  • I’m not chasing you, I’m just trying to keep up with my daily steps!
  • If at first, you don’t succeed, call a cop!
  • I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong!
  • I’m a cop, not a mind reader, but I’ll try my best to understand you!
  • I’m not just here to catch the bad guys, I’m also here to make your day better!
  • I’m not here to judge you, I’m just here to enforce the law!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m a problem solver!
  • If you want to be a criminal, don’t mess with me!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a life saver!
  • I’m not a superhero, but I play one on the streets!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a role model for kids!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a professional multitasker!
  • I’m not a traffic cop, I’m a traffic magician!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a good listener!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m a crime fighter!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a protector of peace!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a defender of justice!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a friend to the community!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m a superhero in blue!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a negotiator and conflict resolver!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a detective and problem solver!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a protector of the innocent!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a guardian of the law!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a defender of human rights!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a first responder in emergencies!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a life changer for those I help!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a public servant!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a beacon of hope for those in need!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a peacekeeper and mediator!
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a protector of the community!
  • You have the right to remain silent, but I’m hoping you don’t.
  • I’m not a magician, but I can make your bad day disappear.
  • You’re not in trouble, you’re just in the presence of greatness.
  • I’m like a superhero, but instead of a cape, I have a badge.
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m a force for good.
  • I’m here to protect and serve, and also to make some cool arrests.
  • I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?
  • Don’t make me use my cop voice.
  • I’m not a regular cop, I’m a cool cop.
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m a crime-fighting machine.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  • Don’t worry, I’m here to protect and serve… coffee and donuts to my fellow officers.
  • You have the right to remain silent, but I’d rather you talk so I can get a good laugh.
  • It’s all fun and games until someone calls the cops.
  • I’m not saying I’m the world’s greatest cop, but I’m pretty sure I’m in the top one percent.
  • You can run, but you can’t hide… from my jokes.
  • I have a black belt in sarcasm and a badge to back it up.
  • I’m like a superhero, but instead of a cape, I have a badge.
  • I’m not a morning person, but I’m always up for a good chase.
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a professional bad joke teller.
  • I may be a cop, but I still haven’t figured out how to get rid of the donut addiction.
  • I’m not here to judge, I’m here to laugh at your bad decisions.
  • I’m not a regular cop, I’m a cool cop.
  • I’m like a ninja, but instead of throwing stars, I throw witty one-liners.
  • I don’t always make arrests, but when I do, it’s for something hilarious.
  • You can trust me, I’m a cop… who loves puns.
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a comedian… at least in my own mind.
  • I’m not sure if I’m arresting you or just putting you in timeout.
  • I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?
  • I’m not sure who’s more scared right now, you or my punchlines.
  • I’m not a cop, I’m an undercover comedian.
  • I may be a cop, but I still appreciate a good prank.
  • Don’t mess with me, I have a badge… and a killer sense of humor.
  • I’m not a cop, I’m a master of disguise… okay, I’m just a cop, but I can still tell a mean joke.
  • I’m not just a cop, I’m also a part-time comedian and full-time dad joke maker.
  • I’m like a dictionary, I have all the puns… and the definitions too, I guess.
  • I’m not saying I’m hilarious, but I do make arresting jokes.
  • I’m not a cop, I’m a crime-fighting comedian.
  • I’m not here to make friends, but I am here to make terrible puns.
  • I’m not saying I’m the funniest cop in the department, but I haven’t heard anyone deny it either.
  • I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, but have you ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room?
  • I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
  • I have a degree in sarcasm.
  • I don’t have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
  • I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
  • I have the memory of a goldfish, so if I forget to give you a ticket, it’s not personal.
  • I don’t always catch criminals, but when I do, they’re usually red-handed.
  • I’m not a morning person, I’m an all-day coffee person.
  • I have a badge, a gun, and a sense of humor. Use caution.
  • I’m not a regular cop, I’m a cool cop.
  • I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?
  • I don’t need a weapon, I have a sharp wit.
  • I’m not lost, I’m just taking the scenic route to the station.
  • I don’t always write tickets, but when I do, I write them with finesse.
  • I’m not a mind reader, I’m a cop. But sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.
  • I’m not a snitch, I’m just an informant with benefits.
  • I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to serve and protect. But if I make a friend along the way, that’s cool too.
  • I don’t need backup, I have a can of mace and a whistle.

Be First to Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Last Articles