Funny Bathroom Sayings

1. You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
2. Please don’t pee on the seat, your mom doesn’t work here.
3. You’re never too old to be immature.
4. Aim like a Jedi, not like a Stormtrooper.
5. Wash your hands like you just finished slicing jalapenos for a batch of nachos and need to take your contact lenses out.
6. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
7. If you’re reading this, you’re not doing your business.
8. Some come here to sit and think, others come here to shit and stink.
9. Toilet paper: you’re either on it or you’re out of it.
10. I poop better than I drive.
11. Please flush twice, it’s a long way to the kitchen.
12. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie.
13. No job is finished until the paperwork is done.
14. I’m a multitasker. I can pee and text at the same time.
15. A poop a day keeps the doctor away.
16. If at first you don’t succeed, flush, flush again.
17. Don’t worry, be crappy.
18. A clean bathroom is a happy bathroom.
19. Life is too short to hold it in.
20. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again, then give up and flush.
21. Please remain seated for the entire performance.
22. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. Go pee.
23. The bathroom: where I do some of my best thinking.
24. Bathroom rules: please remain seated for the duration of the pee.
25. It’s all about the squatty potty.
26. If you can’t beat them, join them.
27. Don’t forget to wash your hands, your mother doesn’t work here.
28. A poop without a courtesy flush is like a hug without a kiss.
29. May your aim be true and your pee be clear.
30. The bathroom is my happy place.
31. Don’t stand so close to me.
32. This bathroom is where I do my best work.
33. In this bathroom, we aim to please. You aim too, please.
34. Some people come in and out of our lives, but the bathroom is always there for us.
35. May your poop be easy and your toilet paper plentiful.
36. Flush twice, it’s a small price to pay for a clean conscience.
37. I came, I saw, I conquered the toilet.
38. Don’t forget to flush, or you’ll be in deep sh*t.
39. Bathroom humor is a gas.
40. Bathroom selfies: because some moments need to be captured.
41. Keep calm and poop on.
42. Bathroom rules: if it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s brown, flush it down.
43. Bathroom rules: if it smells, it’s probably mine.
44. We don’t swim in your toilet, so please don’t pee in our pool.
45. The walls in here have ears.
46. Don’t forget to wash your hands and say your prayers, because Jesus and germs are everywhere.
47. This bathroom is for paying customers only. If you’re not paying, don’t start spraying.
48. The bathroom is my sanctuary.
49. If you can’t stand the smell, stay out of the bathroom.
50. Please keep this bathroom clean, your mother doesn’t work here.
51. In this bathroom, we aim for success, not perfection.
52. This bathroom is my happy place, but it’s not a place for happy endings.
53. This bathroom is where I come to take care of business.
54. We don’t judge, we flush.
55. This bathroom is where I do some of my deepest thinking.
56. Please don’t make waves.
57. Bathroom rules: if it’s brown, flush it down. If it’s yellow, let it mellow. If it’s green, see a doctor.
58. The bathroom is where I go to let my thoughts go down the drain.
59. If you’re not in here for a good time, why are you in here?
60. The bathroom is my quiet place, my personal sanctuary.
61. It’s not the fart that kills, it’s the follow-through.
62. We don’t need a plumber, we have duct tape.
63. If you’re not in here for the ambiance, you’re in the wrong place.
64. Bathroom humor: because we all need a good laugh, especially in the toilet.
65. Don’t forget to flush, because nobody likes a stinky surprise.
66. A good bathroom break is like hitting the reset button on your day.
67. This bathroom is not just for the young and able, it’s for everyone who needs a good sit down.
68. If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the bathroom.
69. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
70. We’re flushing away yesterday’s mistakes.
71. The bathroom is where I go to get my sh*t together.
72. If you’re having a bad day, just take a seat and let it all go.
73. Bathroom rules: wash your hands and don’t forget to tip the toilet.
74. The bathroom is where I come to do some soul searching.
75. Don’t be a jerk, leave the bathroom the way you found it.
76. This bathroom is my sanctuary, my fortress of solitude.
77. The bathroom is the one place where you can be totally yourself.
78. Please keep this bathroom clean, we’re not animals.
79. This bathroom is for heroes only, those brave enough to take on the challenge.
80. Bathroom humor: because sometimes laughter is the best medicine for your bowels.
81. The bathroom: where your most private moments become public property.
82. If at first you don’t succeed, flush, flush again.
83. This bathroom is where I go to drop my kids off at the pool.
84. We don’t tolerate any crap in this bathroom.
85. Bathroom rules: if you’re not peeing, you’re breathing someone else’s pee.
86. The bathroom is where I go to get my head together.
87. The bathroom is my Zen garden.
88. If you’re not sitting down, you’re not really going.
89. We’re all in this together, so please be courteous and flush.
90. Bathroom rules: please remain seated until the turbulence has ended.
91. If you can’t handle the smell, get out of the bathroom.
92. Bathroom humor: the one thing that’s always in good taste.
93. This bathroom is where I go to find my inner peace.
94. In this bathroom, we’re all equal, no matter what we’re dropping off.
95. Don’t be a stranger, come in and do your business.
96. If you’re feeling down, just come in and sit down.
97. Please don’t feed the toilet, it’s already full.
98. This bathroom is where I go to take a load off.
99. Bathroom rules: please do not throw cigarette butts in the toilet, it makes them soggy and hard to light.
100. The bathroom is where I go to unleash the beast within.

Funny Bathroom Sayings part 2