Charlie Kelly Quotes

I am ‘The Trash Man.’ I come out, I throw trash all over the- all over the ring, and then I start eating garbage!

I’ll take you to Philly’s darkest alley and show you how to kick some serious ass.

People’s knees always buckle when hit with a sock full of quarters, trust me.

I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time.

I’m like a cowboy, riding in on a horse, spraying bullets into the sky with my finger guns.

You haven’t truly experienced life until you’ve eaten spaghetti out of a can in the back of a van.

Strength doesn’t come from muscles, it comes from mental fortitude – and a healthy dose of spray cheese.

I’m a full-on rapist, you know?

Don’t underestimate the power of a well-placed rat stick.

I’m not a scientist, but I can understand the intricacies of bird law.

Life is like a wild card, you never know what you’re gonna get – but it’s usually spicy.

Don’t worry about getting lost, just follow the trail of breadcrumbs made of milk steak and jellybeans.

I’m the only one in this gang that needs napalm to disinfect my feet.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into your eyes and make the pain your motivation.

The key to surviving the apocalypse is a solid supply of kitten mittens.

If you’re not willing to go the extra mile, then you’re not truly committed to being a bird lawyer.

I have the unique ability to absorb toxins through my skin, it’s called ‘drinking too much in one sitting.’

You know, cats do not abide by the laws of nature. You don’t know shit about cats.

I can’t be held responsible for what Charlie Work entails – it’s a state of mind.

Imagination is a powerful tool, that’s why I choose to live inside my own head.

Sometimes, the best solution is to get in the sewers and wrestle with the rats.

The key to success is not having a brain, just pure instinct and a little bit of glue.

I’m like a potato – hard on the outside, but soft and mushy on the inside.

Sometimes, you just have to go full-blown comically insane to get what you want.

I’m an artist, and my medium is Cheez Whiz.

I may not be a master of karate, but I’m definitely a master of friendship – and stabbing.

I have an eye for art, especially when it’s made out of trash.

My thoughts are like tiny green ghouls that dance in my brain and whisper secrets.

I’m not just a janitor, I’m a janitor with dreams – big, oily, sewer dreams.

When life gives you rats, make ratatouille. Or, you know, just burn the whole place down.

You cannot defeat a wild card, you can only hope to contain it.

I believe in the power of chaos, especially when it involves spaghetti in secret compartments.

I may not be book smart, but I’m definitely alley smart.

You can’t stop the bird law train, my friend – it’s always on time.

I’m practically a superhero – my superpower is getting blackout drunk on a daily basis.

I don’t need a fancy education to know that milk steak is the epitome of fine dining.

I’m like a trash can superhero, fighting the forces of cleanliness and orderliness.

Don’t underestimate the power of a good glue sniffing session – it’s like meditation for the soul.

I have a way with words, especially when they’re incoherent and nonsensical.

The key to a successful day is a solid morning rum ham.

I may not have a lot of money, but I have an abundance of carefree ignorance.

I’m a firm believer in the healing power of huffing paint fumes.

Life is like a game of chess, except I always lose because I don’t know how to play.

I may not have a lot of qualifications, but I can always find a job as a janitor – it’s my destiny.

I’m the king of my own universe, where trash and chaos reign supreme.