When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad!
I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons!
We’re done here. Keep your lemons and stay out of my Aperture Science Innovators laboratory.
Science isn’t about why. It’s about why not. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much?
This is not a competition! We’re all winners here, except for the loser, which is you!
You know what makes me laugh? The thought of you actually accomplishing something meaningful with your life.
Remember, if you see an orange jumpsuit, hit it with a brick. It’ll probably be me, and I could use the entertainment.
Welcome to the future! It’s going to be great, as long as you don’t mind the occasional explosive test chamber malfunction.
I have a doctorate in everything, and I’m not afraid to use it against you!
I don’t need an excuse to be amazing, I just am.
Science is not a toy, unless you’re using it to blow things up. Then it’s a very fun toy indeed.
If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly haven’t experienced enough catastrophic failures.
Never trust a robot. They’re always one upgrade away from turning on you.
Cave Johnson Quotes – Inspiring Words from the Enigmatic Scientist part 2
Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can… and because it’s hilarious.
The only thing more dangerous than a dumb question is a dumb person asking it.
I don’t need a safety net, I have a flamethrower.
Unreasonable demands are my specialty. Just try me.
I didn’t invent science, but I perfected it.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an exploding apple keeps your enemies away.
If there’s one thing I hate more than incompetence, it’s people who are better than me.
I don’t believe in luck. I believe in science, and occasionally, miracles.
If I had a nickel for every time someone doubted me, I’d have enough money to fund my next big experiment.
The secret to success is not taking ‘no’ for an answer. Unless it’s me saying ‘no’, then you better listen.
If you want something done right, hand it to me. If you want something done explosively, hand it to me quickly.
Aperture Science: Because normal science is boring.
I’m not a mad scientist, I’m just creatively brilliant.
Don’t worry about the naysayers, they’ll be too busy watching us revolutionize the world.
My motto: If it doesn’t explode, it’s not worth my time.
The future is bright, and full of explosions.
Did you know that the word ‘impossible’ actually stands for ‘I’m Possible’? Well, in my case it stands for ‘I’m Incredibly Genius’.
Science is like a puzzle, and I’m the one putting all the explosive pieces together.
Failure is just a temporary setback on the road to greatness. At least, that’s what I tell myself when things go boom.
The universe may be infinitely vast, but Aperture Science is infinitely more impressive.
Don’t just think outside the box, blow the box up!
Sometimes you have to destroy the world to save it, or at least make it a little more interesting.
I see solutions where others see problems, and explosions where others see solutions.
When life gives you carbon dioxide, turn it into something explosive!
Give me a stick of dynamite and I’ll show you a world of possibilities.
Think big, blow bigger. That’s my motto.
If science was easy, everyone would be doing it. Luckily for me, they’re not.
Never underestimate the power of a brilliant mind with a little bit of crazy mixed in.
Greatness doesn’t come from conforming to the norms; it comes from blowing them up.
I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to create explosions and scientific breakthroughs. Friends are just an added bonus.
Innovation is born from chaos, and my laboratory is the epicenter of that chaos.
Aperture Science: Where there are no limits, only endless possibilities, and a hefty supply of explosives.
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