Bob Uecker Quotes – The Wit and Wisdom of a Baseball Legend

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

I don’t make plans anymore. They always get in the way of life.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

Age is just a number, but wrinkles are the roadmap of life.

Every morning is a blank canvas waiting to be filled with laughter.

The secret to a happy life is a good sense of humor and a lot of whiskey.

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but at least I’m not a spoon.

Life is too short to take yourself seriously. Laugh at your own mistakes.

I’m not old, I’m vintage. Like a fine wine, I only get better with age.

I may not have all the answers, but at least I have a good sense of humor.

I don’t do diets, they’re a conspiracy to keep us away from bacon.

I’m not lazy, I just prefer to do things in my own time… which is usually later.

If life gives you lemons, take out the tequila and throw a party.

I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up.

Life is like a baseball game. Sometimes you strike out, but every now and then you hit a home run.

If I had a dollar for every time I made someone laugh, I’d be broke.

I don’t need Google, my brain is full of useless information.

I may not be the tallest person in the room, but I’m definitely the funniest.

If laughter is the best medicine, then I must be a doctor.

I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty good at being humble.

Bob Uecker Quotes – The Wit and Wisdom of a Baseball Legend part 2

They say laughter is contagious, but I haven’t caught anything yet.

I’m not perfect, but my sense of humor is pretty close.

Life is too short to be serious all the time. Embrace the silly.

I may not be a mind reader, but I can definitely read a room.

I may not be a comedian, but I play one in my own mind.

I’ve learned that the key to a successful marriage is laughter… and a good sense of hearing.

I don’t need a gym membership, laughter is the best workout.

I don’t believe in luck, but I do believe in the power of a good laugh.

I don’t need a therapist, I just need a good punchline.

I may not have a six-pack, but I have a six-pack of jokes.

I don’t need a map, my sense of humor will always guide me in the right direction.

I don’t believe in stress, I believe in the power of a good belly laugh.

I don’t need a fancy car, as long as I have a good playlist and a sense of humor.

I may not have a high IQ, but I have a PhD in making people laugh.

Life is like a sitcom, you never know what’s going to happen next.

I don’t believe in regrets, only funny stories waiting to be told.

I’ve learned that life is too short to be serious. Embrace the laughter.

I don’t need an alarm clock, laughter is the best wake-up call.

I may not be a stand-up comedian, but I can definitely make you stand up from laughing.

I’ve learned that the best way to navigate through life is with a good sense of humor as my compass.

I may not have a perfect body, but I have a perfect sense of timing for a joke.

I don’t believe in bad days, just days that need a little more laughter.

I’ve learned that laughter is the glue that holds friendships together, especially when tequila is involved.

I may not have all the answers, but I can definitely make you forget the questions with a good joke.

I don’t need a fancy job, as long as I have a good sense of humor and a comfortable couch.