Witty and Wise – A Collection of Smart Ass Quotes

If you’re going to be smart, at least be funny about it.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Brains are awesome-don’t waste them on ignorance.

I may be a genius, but I still trip over my own ego.

Overthinking: because sometimes it takes a lot of brainpower to sound smart.

I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination; just wait until I start being productive.

I told my brain to take a break, but it doesn’t know how to relax.

I can’t help being clever; it’s just my default setting.

They say the smartest people ask questions; I ask a lot of them-mostly to myself.

I’m not just a smart ass; I’m a certified wisecracker.

Smartness is like a fart; it’s better when you don’t force it.

I’m smart enough to know that I’m full of smart ideas… and hot air.

Their brains may be big, but my comebacks are bigger.

Intelligence without humor is like a cupcake without frosting.

I don’t have a smart answer; I have a whole library of them.

My brain has a ‘no dumb questions’ policy-good luck getting in.

I’ve got 99 problems, and ignorance isn’t one of them.

What’s the point of being smart if you can’t have a little fun?

Call me a genius, but I prefer to think of myself as ‘intellectually curious.’

My wit is so sharp, it could cut through your ignorance.

I make bad decisions with expertise; it’s a special talent.

If ignorance is bliss, I must be the most unhappy person alive.

Brains and humor: the perfect recipe for a smart ass.

I’m not skeptical; I’m just selectively intelligent.

I Googled ‘smart ass’ and somehow, my face appeared.

In a world full of average, be the smart exception.

My knowledge is like a vast ocean, but my patience wears thin like a puddle.

Was that sarcasm I heard or just my brilliance making waves?

Sometimes, I amaze myself with my own cleverness-just ask me!

Your opinion is just a piece of trivia; I’m the encyclopedia here.

Standing on the shoulders of giants makes it easier to deliver smart remarks.

I thought I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

I’m not just smart; I also have a degree in witty comebacks.

Think of me as your personal GPS for intelligent thoughts.

I like my coffee like I like my intellect: strong and with a pinch of sarcasm.

If life gives you lemons, make witty remarks and sell them.

I’m the type of person who would fail an intelligence test while acing the sarcasm exam.

Why fit in when you can stand out with your smart remarks?

I’m smart enough to know that sarcasm is the language of the wise.

Life’s too short for dull conversations; let’s spice it up with some wit.

I’d give you a smart response, but I’m afraid you wouldn’t get it.

Smart is just a state of mind that I visit regularly.

If brains were dynamite, I’d barely make a dent.

I’m not condescending; I’m just blessed with superior knowledge.

Keep calm and let the smart ass handle it.

I’m fluent in sarcasm and speak it with a degree of brilliance.

The more I know, the more I realize how little others know.

I’m the kind of person who reads the manual-after breaking everything.

Wit is the salt of intelligence; too much and you could burn.

In the battle of wits, I always bring enough ammunition.