The Ultimate Collection of Best Michael Scott Quotes

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

I am Beyonce, always.

Dwight, you ignorant slut!

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.

I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!

I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

You have no idea how high I can fly.

I’m an office manager. I’m a boss. I’m a friend.

I am the king of forwards; I will be king forever!

I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them.

I am not a hero. I am a mere mortal.

I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The worst thing about prison was the dementors.

Sometimes the best way to get someone’s attention is to stop giving them yours.

I’m a big believer in the saying ‘work hard, play hard’.

I did not take his pen. It was my pen.

I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.

We’re not in the office, we’re in a place where we can do whatever we want.

I am going to be your best friend!

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim!

You can’t put a price on a good time.

I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all.

I am always right, even when I am wrong.

You know what they say: fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice… strike three.

I want people to be afraid of me. I want them to be scared of me.

It’s happening! Everybody stay calm!

There’s a time and a place to do everything.

I have a lot of friends, and I don’t know how I keep doing it.

You’re the best! You’re a special person!

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.

Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice… strike three.

I’m an excellent multitasker.

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile.

Today will be the best day ever!

I’m in a glass case of emotion!

You are the author of your own life.

Date night is the best night.

You have no idea how much I can do with a paper clip.

I’m a little flirt.

Every time I try to talk to someone, they say ‘no’.

To me, the most important thing is that we all find our place.

I am your friend!

You can’t spell ‘team’ without ‘me’.

Love me or hate me, I’m still gonna shine.

I am an agent of chaos!

Just remember, you can’t take yourself too seriously.