The Best Quotes from The Office

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. – Michael Scott

I am Beyoncé, always. – Michael Scott

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. – Michael Scott

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised. – Michael Scott

I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream. – Michael Scott

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott

You don’t call people ‘retard.’ You call your friends ‘retard’ when they’re acting like ‘retards’. – Michael Scott

I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning weirdo. – Jim Halpert

I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good. – Michael Scott

I hate looking at your face. I want to smash it. – Michael Scott

I’m not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was 30, but I wasn’t even close. Then I thought maybe by 40, but by 40, I had less money than I did when I was

The Best Quotes from The Office part 2

– Michael Scott

Sometimes words are not enough. You know, sometimes it’s just a look that says it all. – Jim Halpert

I understand nothing. – Michael Scott

I am Dwight Schrute. I own this farm, I own this land, and I am the master of my domain. – Dwight Schrute

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. – Jim Halpert

I have never been this embarrassed in my life, Jan. And that includes the time that I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. – Michael Scott

Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls. – Angela Martin

I am fast. To give you a reference point, I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… And a panther. – Dwight Schrute

Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend. But…because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy. – Dwight Schrute

Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing. – Michael Scott

I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues and he’s stupid. – Dwight Schrute

I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them. – Andy Bernard

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year! – Dwight Schrute

I’m not sure where I am going, but I promise it won’t be boring. – Creed Bratton

Most people would say ‘the customer is always right.’ But you know what? Those people are ‘idiots’. – Michael Scott

Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim is actually my friend. But…because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy. – Dwight Schrute

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. – Michael Scott

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised. – Michael Scott

Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn. – Andy Bernard

I know what really matters in life: friends, wounds, and work. In that order. – Michael Scott

I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning weirdo. – Jim Halpert

It’s not a surprise that the majority of people in this office are pathetic losers. – Stanley Hudson

I declare bankruptcy! – Michael Scott

I am not a fan of political correctness. I call it political correctness gone amuck. – Michael Scott

I know the consequences of a wrong decision. – Andy Bernard

I didn’t realize that everybody here dresses so provocatively. – Phyllis Vance

I’m one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. – Michael Scott

Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad, and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown. – Michael Scott

I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat. – Pam Beesly

I’m an early bird and a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms. – Michael Scott

I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try. – Jim Halpert

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. – Michael Scott

You don’t call people ‘retard.’ You call your friends ‘retard’ when they’re acting like ‘retards’. – Michael Scott

Just poopin’. You know how I be. – Kevin Malone