I am I am I am.
I want to taste life.
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
The bell jar hung, suspended, a few feet above my head, and the air was raucous with the sound of wings.
I wanted to crawl in between those black lines of print, the way you crawl through a fence, and go to sleep under that beautiful big green figleaf tree.
I felt as though I were sitting in the bottom of a well, utterly alone and separate from everything else.
I couldn’t afford to buy any books.
I am climbing to a new level of madness.
I saw the days of the year stretching ahead like a series of bright, white boxes, and separating one box from another was sleep, like a black shade.
I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story.
I tried to free one of them-it must have been a foot because a woman’s legs were under me, long and thin and dusty.
I was supposed to be having the time of my life.
I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.
The eyes and faces all turned themselves towards me, and guiding myself by them, as by a magical thread, I stepped into the room.
I guess I should have been excited the way most of the other girls were, but I couldn’t get myself to react.
I also sort of remember a tree and a house twice.
A line of muddy footprints stretched from the porch to a white mitten hidden in the burn on Uncle George’s property.
The Bell Jar Quotes part 2
I couldn’t help thinking that if only there were a yellow door or a red door to break up its front, the house would have been perfect.
I saw Johnny’s eyes go dark with the answers I knew he had been looking for.
I wasn’t quite sure how to put it, but I felt as though I had swallowed one of those luminous arrows that shoot your dishes and your hands.
I wanted to crawl under an enormous bed and sleep for three years. Instead, I wrapped the Pay-Less potoftorundulation in a couple of people’s ends.
I looked at a few books, sweet and tight, covered in clear, sexually repellent old book jackets.
I saw them pouring our their faces into cups and drinking of it, in red hats and purple mitten suits and anemone corolla.
I admired their tousled hair and the grimy, striped and witchlike shoes on their feet.
I was supposed to go to the gym to put on my shirt and tie.
The book smelled of chlorine, and the slightly worn edges burnt my ashen palms.
I felt like a hole in the air.
I think we should all have babies, she said suddenly.
I tried to see this and failed.
I cracked along the line and broke just like the egg.
I felt as though I were trembling on a cliff over lava.
I wrapped myself in white paper and floated in sea water.
The baby sailed off through the gaping window.
I watched her open her eyes like we little girls with our dolls. It seemed childishly guilty.
I simply forgot.
I stood on a cliff and peered over it into the sea.
I could no more picture what awaited me outside than my reflection in Aunt Tillie’s perfume-clear bottle could suddenly climb out and latch itself onto the winder.
The candle under my nose was only a mm of former greatness.
I ate a fabulous meal, though I hadn’t a clue what it tasted like.
I never knew I had such an appreciation for red tile roofs and rolling pastoral scenes.
I felt a momentary chill. Then I swept my arms in the autumn wind, and my clothes flapped and flared like a large ship in a cobwebby sea.
The wild blackberries across the field were as swollen as grapes and trees I walked under held perfect white blossoms.
When I stepped onto the ferry, I felt a brisk slap of sea air.
I admired the trees, slender-growing and graceful in their winter nakedness.
How’s everything in the bell jar?
Be First to Comment