Southern Grandpa Sayings

Well, butter my biscuit!

Bless your heart, you’re dumber than a sack of rocks.

You’re busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

Don’t judge a book by its cover, son.

I’m so southern, I sweat sweet tea.

That boy is as clumsy as a bull in a china shop.

Ain’t no use crying over spilled milk, darlin’.

I’m happier than a tick on a fat dog.

That dog won’t hunt, son.

You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

Let me tell you, life is like a bowl of grits – sometimes smooth, sometimes lumpy.

Bless your heart, if brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.

He’s as stubborn as a mule.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.

That boy is slicker than a hog on ice.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

You can’t fix stupid, son.

He’s got more money than Carter’s got little liver pills.

I’m as pleased as punch.

You know what they say, a chip off the old block.

That boy is dumber than a sack of hammers.

She’s got a mouth on her like a broken faucet.

It’s hotter than a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.

You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear, bless your heart.

That boy is slicker than snot on a glass doorknob.

I’m happier than a pig in slop.

Southern Grandpa Sayings part 2

You’re as nutty as a fruitcake, boy.

That’s lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.

She’s got a mouth on her like a cannon.

You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a banjo.

He’s wilder than a buck on a June bug.

He’s running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

She’s as sweet as sugar.

You can’t have your cake and eat it, too, son.

I’m so broke, I can’t pay attention.

Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.

He’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, darlin’.

He’s tighter than a tick.

You’re slower than molasses in January.

It’s raining cats and dogs out there!

That boy couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Don’t make a Federal case out of it.

She’s as pretty as a picture.

You’re as sharp as a bowling ball, son.