Smartass Sayings

• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
• I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.
• I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.
• I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
• I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.
• I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m prioritizing.
• I’m not antisocial, I’m selectively social.
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my sanity.
• I’m not being difficult, you’re just not understanding my genius.
• I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in smartass.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just using my intelligent voice.
• I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.
• I’m not stubborn, I’m determined.
• I’m not sensitive, I’m emotionally aware.
• I’m not high maintenance, I’m just worth the effort.
• I’m not a control freak, I’m a control enthusiast.
• I’m not overthinking, I’m just thinking faster than you.
• I’m not opinionated, I’m just always right.
• I’m not judging you, I’m just observing your poor life choices.
• I’m not a morning person, I’m a nocturnal creature forced into daylight.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
• I’m not flirting, I’m just being friendly with a twist.
• I’m not rude, I’m just honest.
• I’m not indecisive, I’m just exploring all options.
• I’m not a people person, I’m a dog person.
• I’m not crazy, I’m just creatively insane.
• I’m not a control freak, I’m a detail-oriented problem solver.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.
• I’m not bossy, I just know what’s best.
• I’m not a morning person, I’m a brunch enthusiast.
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just taking a break from humanity.
• I’m not a perfectionist, I’m a quality control expert.
• I’m not being difficult, I’m just challenging your perspective.
• I’m not a people pleaser, I’m a self-care advocate.
• I’m not a procrastinator, I’m a perfectionist in the making.
• I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong for long.
• I’m not negative, I’m just realistic.
• I’m not antisocial, I’m just selectively extroverted.
• I’m not a control freak, I’m a leader in training.
• I’m not high maintenance, I’m just low tolerance for mediocrity.
• I’m not dramatic, I’m just passionate.
• I’m not rude, I’m just direct.
• I’m not stubborn, I’m persistent.
• I’m not a people person, I’m a cat person.
• I’m not messy, I’m just comfortable in my chaos.
• I’m not a morning person, I’m a sunrise appreciator.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just prioritizing my to-do list.
• I’m not opinionated, I’m just always right.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m prioritizing my relaxation time.
• I’m not rude, I’m just brutally honest.
• I’m not sarcastic, I’m just fluent in smartass.
• I’m not stubborn, I’m just consistent.
• I’m not trying to be difficult, it comes naturally.
• I’m not unsympathetic, I’m just allergic to drama.
• If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
• If at first you don’t succeed, blame someone else and seek revenge.
• If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
• If at first you don’t succeed, then redefine success as failure.
• If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
• If life gives you lemons, squirt them in someone’s eyes.
• If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
• If you can’t say something nice, come sit by me.
• If you don’t like my attitude, you should see my personality.
• If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
• I’m allergic to stupidity, I break out in sarcasm.
• I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why you’re wrong.
• I’m not bossy, I’m just better at decision-making.
• I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
• I’m not great with advice, but I can offer a sarcastic comment.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy.
• I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
• I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just passionate.
• I’m not indecisive, I’m just multifaceted.
• I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.
• I’m not anti-social, I’m selectively social.
• I’m not high maintenance, I’m just worth the effort.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
• I’m not messy, I’m just creatively organized.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m just prioritizing my hobbies.
• I’m not unorganized, I’m just prioritizing my creativity.
• I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m sleeping.
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just saving my energy for someone more interesting.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just pacing myself.
• I’m not rude, I’m just speaking my mind.
• I’m not shy, I’m just conserving my words.
• I’m not single, I’m just in a relationship with freedom.
• I’m not stubborn, I’m just persistent.
• I’m not two-faced, I’m just versatile.
• I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong for long.
• I’m not always the life of the party, sometimes I’m the death of it.
• I’m not condescending, I’m just speaking your language.
• I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to bring the film.
• If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Smartass Sayings part 2