Schitt’s Creek Quotes – Hilarious and Heartwarming Moments from the Beloved TV Show

Ew, David!

I’d kill for a good coma right now.

I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.

I’m incapable of faking sincerity.

It’s my turn to take a selfish.

I’ve decided to opt for the laissez-faire approach to parenting.

I didn’t grow up with much, so I draw the line at spending money on newspapers.

You know what I love about wine? It’s not yogurt.

I’m isolated in a vampire den, how did this happen?

I don’t like talking to people I know, let alone strangers.

I carelessly forgot my homework on account of my deep indifference towards it.

Just to be clear, I’m not casually suggesting we kill my sister.

I’m very capable of leaving work at work, provided I do no work and I’m at home.

The sight of a man in uniform makes me question my commitment to monogamy.

Toxic masculinity ruins the party again!

I’m not good at talking to people about their feelings or my feelings or anyone’s feelings.

I carry a torch for no man, let alone David.

Compromise is really just a fancy way of saying that you both lose.

I like eyebrows, I don’t like people who pluck their eyebrows.

Ted, you seem oddly familiar… did you ever do time in Somalia?

A little hairspray, a little lipstick, and she’s back in business.

I’m developing a strong case of Stockholm Syndrome with this motel room.

Schitt’s Creek Quotes – Hilarious and Heartwarming Moments from the Beloved TV Show part 2

It’s awfully quiet when one stops talking.

I could take a bull by the horns, but it’s the vagina that leads the way.

There’s nothing quite like waking up and realizing you’ve invested your emotions in a beaver.

The Internet is my only form of human contact.

Stupid pelican, it wasn’t all an illusion!

I would never tell anyone anything, just because they’re my friend!

She has a teenage daughter. I remember pulling all sorts of things out of myself back then.

What’s next? A water bottle that’s just for men?

It’s like two kids sharing a trench coat pretending to be an adult.

You can’t please everyone all the time, but you can sure please yourself.

It’s like the first time I put on a pair of heels, everything just clicked.

I wear sunglasses so I can stare at people without being judgmental.

You’ve got to nurture your inner crazy person.

Judged for wearing heels? That’s new.

Schitt’s Creek, where everyone fits in, whether they like it or not.

I’m all business when it comes to investing in the business of other people’s love lives.

Let those puns wash over you and leave you with a tinge of despair.

Learning about wine is a journey; it’s a journey into taste, it’s a journey into yourself.

Your brain must be full after a day.

I don’t need a train wreck in heels right now.

If I hadn’t been famous, I could have been notorious.

One must never underestimate the power of a well-curated style.

There are four kinds of people in this world: lesbians, orphans, tramps, and thieves.