Laugh your way into a new job with these funny quotes

Starting a new job is like stepping into a parallel universe where you’re not sure what’s real and what’s just an office myth.

I used to think the hardest part of starting a new job was finding the office bathroom, until I realized it was actually learning everyone’s names.

The first day of a new job feels like the first day of school, except this time you can’t blame your mom for picking out your outfit.

Starting a new job is like trying to crack a secret code: the office jargon makes no sense and the coffee machine is supposed to be kept classified.

I once started a new job and accidentally made the CEO cry on my first day. Let’s just say it was a memorable bonding moment.

After starting a new job, I quickly discovered that the watercooler is not just a place to get refreshed; it’s where all the office gossip flows.

Starting a new job is a bit like jumping into a game of dodgeball, except instead of balls, you get hit with meetings and deadlines.

They say the first impression is the most important, so naturally, on my first day of a new job, I spilled coffee on my brand-new boss.

Starting a new job is like trying to assemble a piece of IKEA furniture without the instructions – you have no idea what you’re doing, but somehow it all comes together.

I once started a new job and accidentally sent a company-wide email with my grocery list instead of a presentation. Let’s just say my colleagues now know I like kale chips.

Laugh your way into a new job with these funny quotes part 2

Starting a new job is like being a contestant on a reality show – you never know who’s going to be the villain, the hero, or the one who steals your stapler.

On my first day of a new job, I brought in a plant to liven up my desk. It died in three days, setting the tone for my career there.

Starting a new job is like figuring out a complicated puzzle, except instead of getting a reward at the end, you just get a bigger paycheck.

Just started a new job and already mastered the art of nodding and smiling during meetings. Now if only I knew what they were talking about…

Starting a new job is like learning a new language, except instead of conjugating verbs, you’re conjugating your personality to fit in.

I once started a new job and accidentally walked into the broom closet thinking it was the conference room. Let’s just say I had a lot of cleaning supplies as witnesses.

Starting a new job is like being a detective – you have to uncover the company’s secrets, solve mysteries like who stole your lunch from the fridge, and catch the office prankster.

On my first day of a new job, I tried to impress my colleagues with my knowledge of the company’s history. Turns out, they don’t care that it was founded on a Tuesday in 1972.

Starting a new job is like being in a reality TV show called ‘Survivor: Office Edition’ – you have to strategize, form alliances, and avoid getting voted off the email chain.

I once started a new job and accidentally called my boss ‘mom.’ Let’s just say I never lived that one down.

Starting a new job is like entering a new world – a world where Monday mornings are the scariest monsters and the office fridge is a mysterious black hole.

On my first day of a new job, I tried to make a good impression by volunteering for every task. Little did I know, they called me the ‘overachiever’ behind my back.

Starting a new job is like being Alice in Wonderland – you fall into the rabbit hole of company policies and procedures and hope to eventually find your way to the tea party.

I once started a new job and accidentally pressed the ‘Reply All’ button on an email complaining about my new colleagues. Let’s just say it didn’t make me popular.

Starting a new job is like trying to find a needle in a haystack, except the needle is your motivation and the haystack is your inbox.

On my first day of a new job, I wore my lucky superhero socks. Turns out, superpowers are not a workplace requirement.

Starting a new job is like trying to navigate through a maze blindfolded – you’re just hoping you don’t bump into any walls or angry HR managers.

I once started a new job and accidentally spilled soup all over my computer on day one. Let’s just say it was a hot mess.

Starting a new job is like entering uncharted territory – you have no idea what challenges lay ahead, but you know there’ll be plenty of snacks in the break room.

On my first day of a new job, I accidentally walked into the wrong office and started a conversation with a complete stranger. Let’s just say I made a new friend, but not the one I was expecting.

Starting a new job is like joining a secret society – you have to learn the secret handshake, decipher the code of office politics, and master the art of getting free pens.

I once started a new job and accidentally wore mismatched shoes on my first day. Let’s just say it was a sole-destroying experience.

Starting a new job is like entering the twilight zone – everything looks familiar, but there’s always a twist that makes you question reality.

On my first day of a new job, I brought in homemade cookies to win over my new colleagues. Turns out, they were all on diets.

Starting a new job is like being cast as the lead role in a play you’ve never read – you have to make it up as you go along and hope you don’t forget your lines.

I once started a new job and accidentally scheduled a meeting for the wrong year. Let’s just say I’m still waiting for everyone to show up.

Starting a new job is like entering a time machine – you can’t help but wonder if you accidentally skipped ‘Employee Handbook 101’ and everyone else is living in the future.

On my first day of a new job, I tried to impress my colleagues with my coffee-making skills. Let’s just say I ended up with a lot more caffeine than friends.

Starting a new job is like being a character in a video game – you have to level up your skills, defeat the boss, and collect as many office supplies as possible.

I once started a new job and accidentally left my lunch in the communal fridge for a month. Let’s just say I discovered a new species of mold.

Starting a new job is like jumping into a shark tank, except the sharks are emails and the watercooler conversations are your lifeline.

On my first day of a new job, I tried to impress my colleagues with my PowerPoint skills. Let’s just say my enthusiasm for transitions didn’t go over well.

Starting a new job is like being the new kid in school – you’re not sure where the cool kids hang out, and you hope the cafeteria food won’t make you sick.

I once started a new job and accidentally set off the office fire alarm on my first day. Let’s just say it was a sizzling introduction.

Starting a new job is like playing a game of hide-and-seek – you have to find your place in the office hierarchy, but sometimes you just want to hide under your desk and hope no one notices.