Humorous Lawyer Quotes

Why did the lawyer become a baker? He wanted to make some dough!

I told my lawyer I wanted to sue the airline for losing my luggage. She said it would be a brief case.

Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? They don’t want to be caught soliciting.

Did you hear about the lawyer who went skydiving? He wanted to experience a case of briefs on the wind.

What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.

Why did the lawyer go to the Halloween party? He wanted to ‘brief’ly dress up as a ghostwriter.

Why don’t lawyers work on tropical islands? They can’t stand the ‘bar exam’ weather.

What did the lawyer say to the judge who had bad hearing? ‘Can you ear me now?’

Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? He wanted to present a ‘case’ at a higher level.

What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.

Why did the lawyer wear two watches to court? He wanted to ‘watch’ his client’s case and billable hours simultaneously.

Why did the lawyer refuse to work on the roadside? He didn’t want to be accused of ‘highway robbery.’

What’s a lawyer’s favorite musical instrument? The ‘brief’case.

Why did the lawyer bring a thermometer to court? He wanted to prove he had a ‘solid’ case.

Why did the lawyer always carry a map? In case he needed to ‘legally’ find a loophole.

Humorous Lawyer Quotes part 2

Why did the lawyer bring a mirror to court? To help his client ‘reflect’ on their actions.

Why did the lawyer go fishing? He wanted to ‘catch’ a case.

What do you call a lawyer who wears two different socks? A ‘brief’case of mismatched evidence.

What’s a lawyer’s favorite breakfast? ‘Criminal’ donuts and ‘grounds’ for appeal coffee.

Why did the lawyer become an artist? He wanted to be skilled in ‘canvas-ing’ objections.

Why did the lawyer switch to a gluten-free diet? He wanted to practice ‘loaf’ without rye.

What do lawyers wear to court? ‘Sue-its’ and ‘lien’-en shirts.

Why did the lawyer bring a pillow to court? He wanted to rest his ‘case.’

What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t work pro bono? ‘Fee’-lonious.

Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to the courtroom? He wanted to take his objections to a ‘higher’ level.

What’s a lawyer’s favorite type of exercise? ‘Legal’ hurdles.

Why did the lawyer become a gardener? He wanted to ‘law-n’ your trust.

What’s a lawyer’s favorite pizza topping? ‘Pepperoni’ objections.

Why did the lawyer become a baker? He knew how to ‘sue-cread’ clients.

Why did the lawyer bring a deck of cards to court? He wanted to play a ‘suit.’

What’s a lawyer’s favorite type of music? ‘Brief’case rap.

Why did the lawyer bring a passport to court? He wanted to ‘travel’ the world of justice.

What do you call a lawyer who becomes a comedian? Argumentative.

Why did the lawyer become a hairstylist? He wanted to ‘cut’ through the evidence.

Why did the lawyer become a baseball umpire? He loved calling ‘strikes’ and ‘objections.’

What did the lawyer say when he opened a bakery? ‘I’m here to ‘torte’ the competition.’

Why did the lawyer bring a broom to court? To ‘sweep’ the jury off their feet.

Why did the lawyer become a pilot? He wanted to ‘objectionably’ fly the friendly skies.

What did the lawyer say to the judge who was trying to lose weight? ‘How about some ‘bench’ presses?’

Why did the lawyer become a musician? He wanted to ‘harmony-ously’ argue his case.

What’s a lawyer’s favorite ice cream flavor? ‘Affidavit’ chocolate.

Why did the lawyer bring a camera to court? He wanted to capture the ‘evidence.’

Why did the lawyer bring a telescope to court? He wanted to ‘focus’ on the case.

What do you call a lawyer who never loses a case? Retired.

Why did the lawyer become a tour guide? He wanted to ‘brief’ly explore the world of justice.