Homer quotes

I’m not a bad guy, I’m just misunderstood.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.

I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.

I’m not a hero, but I am an idiot.

I believe that children are our future, unless we stop them now.

I’m a simple man with simple pleasures, like eating and drinking.

Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to hell.

I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I sure know how to have a good time.

Inflammable means flammable? What a country!

It takes two to lie; one to lie and one to listen.

It’s not easy being a father, but it’s even harder to be a good one.

Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Why is everyone trying to solve their problems? I just avoid them.

The only things that should be opened are minds, doors, and beer bottles.

I’m not lazy, I’m selectively motivated.

If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.

I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.

I may not have a lot of money, but I have a lot of beer.

I may not be the best role model, but I’m the best at not being a role model.

If at first you don’t succeed, give up.

I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.

Why be normal when you can be Homer?

I’m not slow, I’m just enjoying life at my own pace.

I’m not dumb, I’m unconventional.

Why think when you can drink?

I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.

There’s no shame in being drunk, as long as you’re not drunk alone.

I may not have all the answers, but I know where to find them on the Internet.

Life is too short to be serious all the time.

I may not be perfect, but I’m perfectly me.

Homer: the man, the myth, the legend.

I’m not lazy, I just like to conserve my energy.

Do or do not, there is no ‘try’… unless it involves getting off the couch.

I’m not old, I’m just experienced.

I may not be the wisest person, but I’m definitely the funniest.

Why worry about the future when you can live in the present?

I don’t believe in luck, I believe in beer.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just gravity-challenged.

I may not have the answers, but at least I have a sense of humor.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I’m not irresponsible, I’m creatively spontaneous.

I don’t make mistakes, I make happy accidents.

I may not have it all figured out, but at least I have fun trying.

Life is better when you don’t take it too seriously.