Holden Caulfield Quotes

I’m the most terrific liar.

I’m always saying ‘Glad to’ve met you’ to somebody I’m not at all glad I met.

I’m quite illiterate, but I read a lot.

Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.

I’m a pacifist, if you want to know the truth.

People never notice anything.

Sleep tight, ya morons!

I think if you don’t really like a girl, you shouldn’t horse around with her at all.

I can be quite charming if I feel like it.

It’s amazing how you can get so tired when you have nothing to do.

You ought to go to a boys’ school sometime. Try it sometime, I said. It’s fuckin’ fantastic.

I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that, but I mean it.

I’m always saying ‘Glad to’ve met you’ to somebody I’m not at all glad I met.

I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.

I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.

I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff.

People always clap for the wrong things.

I like it when somebody gets excited about something.

I don’t know where they get the idea I’m some kind of hot-shot.

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s the movies.

I’m always saying Glad to’ve met you to somebody I’m not at all glad I met.

I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.

It’s not too bad when the sun’s out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out.

You don’t have to think too hard when you talk to a teacher.

That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.

I always pick up something when I see it’s little.

I’m serious. She was nowhere near as ugly as I made her out to be.

I go through this process where I manage to convince myself that I’m in love with somebody—anybody—and then end up getting terribly depressed.

The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while a mature man wants to live humbly for one.

All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.

I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life.

I’m always saying Glad to’ve met you to somebody I’m not at all glad I met.

What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff.

If you want to know the truth, I’m not too crazy about old cars.

The trouble was, I just didn’t want to do it. Even if I could have, I wouldn’t have felt like it.

Nuns are always telling you what a swell guy Jesus was.

I’m a madman, I really am.

Boy, did she work on me. She really did.

People always call something they don’t understand ‘crazy.’

I don’t enjoy seeing a girl in trouble.

Even when you get married you’re kissing them all the time.

You take somebody’s mother, all they want to see is their mother.

You don’t always have to get too sexy to get complicted.

I hate when people say things are phony when they’re not.

I felt like I was sort of disappearing.