Hilarious Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing All the Way!

Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.

I’m only a morning person on December 25th.

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Nevermind, I’ll buy my own presents.

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Santa Claus!

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed on Christmas Eve.

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loudly off key for all to hear.

Christmas is the only time of year when it’s acceptable to use the word ‘fruitcake’ in a sentence.

Christmas is the only time when you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.

Santa’s biggest challenge? Trying to remain sober on Christmas Eve.

If you think I’m cute now, you should see me in my Christmas pajamas.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if that runs out, I’ll have the red.

Santa Claus has it easy. I’m the one who has to mop up after the reindeer.

I’m the reason Santa has a naughty list.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.

Christmas: The only time of the year when we all relate to Santa’s weight!

Hilarious Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing All the Way! part 2

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Christmas is the time when everyone wants their past forgotten and their present remembered.

Santa Claus has the right idea – Visit people only once a year.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But, if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.

Santa’s biggest secret: he only works one day a year, but he micromanages it so much so we really feel like it’s all year.

This holiday season, may your family be functional and all your batteries be included.

I told Santa you were good this year, and he died laughing.

Christmas magic is when you can annoy someone so much just by wrapping a present.

I always thought Santa was a spook until I got a present.

I don’t want much for Christmas. I just want the person who’s reading this to be happy.

On Christmas, I get to unwrap presents, and that’s almost as good as waking up to a sunny day.

Do you ever think that Santa might be late because he’s running on Christmas time?

The one time of year when you can’t avoid sequins is at Christmas – I don’t allow myself to wear sequins during the day, because they’re too showy, but at Christmas it’s the law.

It’s Christmas Eve; all children are sleeping and even parents aren’t expecting gifts anymore.

Santa is a smart man. He leaves coal for the bad kids, but I’m pretty sure coal can be used to make fire. Wise choice.

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.

Christmas isn’t just a day; it’s a frame of mind.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.

Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?

Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men and Batteries not Included.

Santa Claus brings gifts for good children and nightmares for the bad ones.

Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish.

Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.