Good Smart-ass Sayings

• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I’m not lazy, I’m conserving energy.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m prioritizing.
• I’m not being difficult, I’m just being thorough.
• I’m not disagreeing with you, I’m simply presenting another perspective.
• I’m not negative, I’m just realistic.
• I’m not rude, I’m honest.
• I’m not being a smart-ass, I’m just witty.
• I’m not forgetful, I’m just selective with my memory.
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just choosing to focus on something else.
• I’m not overthinking, I’m just exploring all possibilities.
• I’m not indecisive, I’m just gathering information.
• I’m not arrogant, I’m just confident.
• I’m not bossy, I’m a natural leader.
• I’m not trying to be difficult, it just comes naturally.
• I’m not trying to be funny, I’m just telling the truth in a humorous way.
• I’m not stubborn, I’m just persistent.
• I’m not being dramatic, I’m just expressing myself.
• I’m not being defensive, I’m just standing up for myself.
• I’m not being negative, I’m just pointing out potential problems.
• I’m not being a know-it-all, I’m just well-informed.
• I’m not being controlling, I’m just organized.
• I’m not being sarcastic, I’m just being honest in a humorous way.
• I’m not being critical, I’m just providing constructive feedback.
• I’m not being a party pooper, I’m just being responsible.
• I’m not being argumentative, I’m just passionate about my beliefs.
• I’m not being a pessimist, I’m just preparing for the worst.
• I’m not being a perfectionist, I’m just striving for excellence.
• I’m not being negative, I’m just being cautious.
• I’m not being a control freak, I’m just organized to a fault.
• I’m not being a know-it-all, I’m just confident in my knowledge.
• I’m not being uncooperative, I’m just standing my ground.
• I’m not being rude, I’m just speaking my mind.
• I’m not being critical, I’m just trying to help you improve.
• I’m not being a slacker, I’m just pacing myself.
• I’m not being stubborn, I’m just being true to myself.
• I’m not being negative, I’m just being realistic.
• I’m not being a brat, I’m just expressing my dissatisfaction.
• I’m not being lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for something important.
• I’m not being judgmental, I’m just observing your actions.
• I’m not being a pessimist, I’m just being prepared for any outcome.
• I’m not being difficult, I’m just being detail-oriented.
• I’m not being a nag, I’m just reminding you of your responsibilities.
• I’m not being a diva, I just know what I want.
• I’d love to help you out, but it looks like you’re doing a great job of screwing things up on your own.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.
• I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for when it’s really necessary.
• I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
• I’m not stubborn, I’m just always right.
• I’m not sure if I’m the voice of reason or the devil’s advocate, but either way, I’m enjoying the conversation.
• I’m not the kind of person you have to impress, I’m the kind of person you have to impress upon.
• I’m not trying to be difficult, it just comes naturally to me.
• I’m not up for arguing, but I am down for a lively discussion where I get to prove you wrong.
• I’m not vain, I’m just aware of how awesome I am.
• I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.
• I’ve been called worse by better people.
• I’ve got 99 problems, but a lack of sarcasm ain’t one.
• If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
• If it weren’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done.
• If life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
• If people say something can’t be done, I’m the first to prove them wrong.
• If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.
• If someone tells you that you’re wrong, just smile and nod. Then do whatever the hell you were going to do anyway.
• If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
• If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
• If you don’t like my attitude, blame my parents. They raised me.
• If you think I’m crazy, you should meet my imaginary friend.
• If you want something done right, make sure you do it yourself.
• In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
• Intelligence is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• It always seems impossible until it’s done.
• It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
• It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone.
• It’s a proven fact that you can’t please everyone, but that won’t stop me from trying.
• It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.
• It’s not the destination that matters, it’s the journey. Unless the destination is a beach.
• It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Unless you’re saying something stupid, then it doesn’t matter.
• Just when I think you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!
• Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent.
• Life is too short to be serious all the time. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me and I’ll laugh at you.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
• I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.
• I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
• If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought a book.
• I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.
• I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.
• I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
• If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
• I’m not arguing, I’m just passionately expressing my opinion.
• I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
• I’m not difficult, I’m just selective about the people I tolerate.
• I’m not rude, I’m just honest.
• I’m not opinionated, I’m just always right.
• I’m not procrastinating, I’m prioritizing my time.
• I’m not ignoring you, I’m just giving you time to reflect on your mistake.
• I’m not being sarcastic, I’m just using my natural tone of voice.
• I have a smart-ass remark for everything, but I’ll spare you this time.

Good Smart-ass Sayings part 2