Golden Girls Quotes

Picture it: Sicily, 1922.

Thank you for being a friend.

I’m not a virgin. I’ve had pina coladas.

I don’t trust you. Any woman who can pull herself together after watching The Way We Were is gonna put her mascara on with a trowel.

All I’m gonna say is, I’ve known a lot of men and being ‘a man’ is no different than being ‘a woman,’ except you have to work overtime in a gas station.

What’s the difference between a stained-glass window and a Chanel suit? Neither of them comes in a size

7. If you have to ask what jazz is, you’ll never know.

I don’t have hot flashes. I have short, private tropical vacations.

Are you telling me that you are starting to feel sexual attraction for me?

I’m old, I’m alone, and I’m in Miami. I’m depressed.

I’m not young, I’m a woman of a certain age.

The only way you can beat fat is with more fat.

You can say a lot of bad things about Florida, but you never hear anyone say ‘I’m going back to Norway to do some shrimping’.

Sometimes I feel like a big bowl of turkey soup.

If I were home right now watching TV, I’d fall asleep.

Why do we wear this? It looks like something Persian cats threw up!

How do you not see a couch in the middle of a living room? It’s enormous!

Why don’t you just stand back and do the nasty, terrible things you do so well?

Golden Girls Quotes part 2

Blanche, we’ve been friends for over 40 years. If I can’t ask you, who can I ask?

I’m not gonna let being a woman ruin my life.

I can’t concentrate, I can’t perform, I can’t even remember if I had sex.

Men are like locks, they also have keys that open multiple locks; women are like keys, they only open one lock.

I am 56, and I have to spend the end of my life fixing Kabobs?

You know what my momma used to say? Never swallow anything bigger than your head.

I’m not that hot?! Did you happen to catch my 35th birthday party video? Sex, rebellion, and hair.

I can’t believe I’m old enough to have a hot flash.

What are you trying to do – make us feel old? Dorothy, here’s your high school reunion chair. Blanche, I picked this up in case we had a senior citizen emergency.

You don’t understand. I could’ve married Lyle. I love Lyle. Lyle loves me. I’m a human being who longs to be in a loving relationship for the rest of my life.

You know who really sees the best in people? Every chick over 35 who’s still dating.

Mama, since you and I are professionals in mourning, you want to go down to the funeral parlor and look at the dead people?

Oh, doctor, I’d give anything to go back and do it all again. I’d love to hear my mother’s voice again.

You know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? The door, because you’re not coming in!

A woman once shot her husband because he chewed his gum like a slob. She walked! Wham! Wham!

I’m extremely self-disciplined. I never let myself get carried away by anger. Except once, and that was well-deserved.

I just can’t get over how comfortable a warsaw can be.

Well, you’re just lucky he didn’t bite you where he bit me!

I can’t help it! When things go wrong, I get hysterical!

Dorothy, those glasses are rose colored!

Well, haven’t we proven women are just as superficial as men? Perhaps even more so because we can wear bras.

Blanche, what are you doing? Digging a foxhole? You look like General Patton waiting for the evacuees.

It must be sumpin’ in the local water that makes folks look that good. I’m gonna have to have the janitor mail me a big bottle of it.

That’s a terrific idea! You be Mother Theresa and I’ll be Dr. Ruth!

If I were running a Cub Scout meeting right now, I could do a much better job.

Well, that was a wonderful evening. We laughed and we cried and we ate baked ziti!

And, what in the hell was in that cake?!