Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

I’m thankful for elastic waistbands this Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving: the only time of year when I can eat all the pie I want without feeling guilty.

I’m thankful for leftovers so I don’t have to cook for a week.

Thanksgiving is like a food coma rehearsal for Christmas.

Turkey: the real reason we celebrate Thanksgiving.

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen… and go eat Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m thankful for wine. Without it, I’d never survive Thanksgiving with family.

Thanksgiving is the Super Bowl of eating.

My favorite exercise on Thanksgiving is a turkey trot to the fridge.

Thanksgiving: the one day a year where it’s acceptable to eat mashed potatoes with a side of pie.

I’m thankful for stretchy pants on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving: the day when I can shamelessly unbutton my pants at the table.

I’m thankful for the person who invented stretchy pants.

Thanksgiving: the only day where it’s socially acceptable to eat your weight in sweet potatoes.

Thanksgiving: the only time of year when my diet consists of turkey, mashed potatoes, and pie.

Thanksgiving is about family, food, and strategically avoiding political conversations.

Thanksgiving: the day everyone suddenly becomes a food critic.

Thanksgiving: the day I realize I have zero self-control when it comes to food.

I’m thankful for my treadmill that I will use religiously after Thanksgiving dinner.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes part 2

Thanksgiving: the one day where you can pile your plate high and no one judges you.

Thanksgiving is all about giving thanks… and eating until you can’t move.

Thanksgiving is a day for family, football, and food comas.

Thanksgiving: the holiday where I’m most grateful for leftovers.

Thanksgiving is the one day a year where I let my inner glutton loose.

I’m thankful for elastic waistbands and forgiving sweatpants this Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving: the day you can pretend to be a professional chef with no consequences.

Thanksgiving: the day I give thanks for elastic waistbands.

Thanksgiving: the day I say ‘thank you’ and ‘more please’ in the same breath.

I’m thankful for sweet potatoes, even though they’re just a vehicle for marshmallows.

Thanksgiving: the day I give thanks for someone else cooking dinner.

Thanksgiving: the only day I’ll eat green bean casserole willingly.

I’m thankful for the nap I take after Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving: the day I eat so much that I don’t feel guilty about skipping dessert for a month.

Thanksgiving is like a food Olympics. Except there are no winners, only leftovers.

I’m thankful for the person who invented the concept of Thanksgiving leftovers.

Thanksgiving: the day I embrace my inner glutton.

Thanksgiving: the only day I’ll eat cranberry sauce… and regret it later.

I’m thankful for the turkey, even though it’s just a vessel for gravy.

Thanksgiving: the day I wear my fat pants with pride.

Thanksgiving: the day I eat enough pie to last me until next year.

I’m thankful for my family, even though they bring up embarrassing stories at the dinner table.

Thanksgiving: the day where I eat my weight in stuffing… and then some.

Thanksgiving: the day I’m grateful for my lack of self-control.

I’m thankful for pumpkin pie. Without it, Thanksgiving would just be a day of turkey.

Thanksgiving: the day I channel my inner Iron Chef and attempt to make a gourmet meal with no experience.