Funny Smoking Quotes

I smoke because it gives me a reason to blow smoke up someone’s ass.

Smoking is my vice, but at least it doesn’t come with a prescription.

I don’t need a smoke break, I need a smoke marathon.

If smoking is a sin, I guess I’m going to hell and having a smoke with the devil.

Smoking is the only time I get to blow kisses to myself.

I don’t smoke to die young, I smoke to live a little longer.

I tried quitting smoking once and it was just the worst five minutes of my life.

Smoking is my stress relief, even if it’s killing me slowly.

I don’t need a cigarette, I need a smoking hot companion.

If you can’t handle me smoking, you don’t deserve me joking.

Smoking is my way of making clouds jealous.

I don’t smoke, I just let my lungs have a dance party.

I smoke because it’s a great way to stay friends with the fire department.

Smoking is the only way I can make friends with all the bugs that love the smoke.

I don’t mind big butts, as long as they’re accompanied by a cigarette.

My doctor told me to quit smoking, but I think I’ll just quit doctors instead.

Smoking is the reason I have such lovely nicotine-stained teeth.

I don’t smoke to fit in, I smoke to stand out in a crowd of non-smokers.

Smoking is my way of telling stress to go smoke itself.

I don’t smoke to look cool, I smoke to stay warm in the winter.

Funny Smoking Quotes part 2

Cigarettes, the ultimate fashion accessory for your lungs.

If smoking is a crime, then call me a smoking hot outlaw.

Smoking is my favorite way to make smoke signals that say ‘I’m awesome’.

I don’t need a reason to smoke, but it makes me look cooler when I have one.

Smoking is a constant reminder that I’m always ready for a fire drill.

I smoke because it helps me solve all the world’s problems in my head.

If you can’t handle me smoking, you definitely can’t handle me setting things on fire.

I don’t smoke to kill myself, I smoke to keep the grim reaper on his toes.

Smoking is my way of telling life to slow down and enjoy the moment.

I don’t smoke to impress people, I smoke to weed out the boring ones.

Smoking is my way of appreciating the beauty of smoke rings.

If smoking is wrong, then why does it feel so right?

I don’t smoke for the health benefits, I smoke for the pleasure of it.

Smoking is my secret superpower, I can make smoke disappear with just one puff.

I don’t smoke to be rebellious, I smoke to fuel my inner badass.

Smoking is my way of telling stress to go take a smoke break.

If you think smoking is dangerous, you should see me without my morning coffee.

I don’t smoke to fit in, I smoke to keep life interesting.

Smoking is my way of telling the world that I can blow smoke and chew bubblegum at the same time.

I don’t smoke to look tough, I smoke to make it rain ash.

Smoking is my way of showing the world that I’m a walking smoke machine.

If smoking is a sin, then sign me up for a lifetime of smoke-filled confessions.

I don’t smoke for the smell, I smoke for the thrill of extinguishing a fire with my lips.

Smoking is my way of making sure I always have a burning desire in my life.

I don’t smoke to be cool, I smoke to create a cloud of mystery around me.