Funny Sayings – Bringing Laughter to Your Day

I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.

Floss like a boss, dance like no one’s watching.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

I’m not awkward, I’m just rehearsing for a future comedy show.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

I’m not a morning person, I’m a coffee person.

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka and have a party.

I may not be a superhero, but I can binge-watch like one.

I’m not singing in the shower, I’m performing in my own personal concert.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesomeness.

I don’t snore, I dream I’m a motorcycle.

I don’t trip over objects, I’m just testing gravity.

I don’t have a bad handwriting, my pen just has a mind of its own.

I don’t need a personal trainer, my life is a constant workout.

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better.

I’m not clumsy, I’m doing a interpretive dance of the floor.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my hair has a sense of humor.

I don’t need a therapist, I have sarcasm as my defense mechanism.

I don’t need a gym, I have the remote control.

I don’t need to impress others, I impress myself daily.

Funny Sayings – Bringing Laughter to Your Day part 2

I don’t diet, I just color-coordinate my food.

I don’t snore loudly, I’m just sleeping in surround sound.

I don’t procrastinate, I just wait for the right moment to do nothing.

I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for more important things.

I don’t fail, I just find creative ways to succeed.

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.

I don’t have a bad memory, I just have a selective memory.

I’m not disorganized, I just have my own system of chaos.

I don’t need directions, my GPS has trust issues.

I’m not a shopaholic, I’m just helping the economy.

I don’t make mistakes, I just have accidental adventures.

I’m not clumsy, I’m just a gravity ninja.

I don’t need a personal chef, I’m a master of microwave cuisine.

I don’t need a personal assistant, I have a magic wand called Google.

I don’t have a fear of commitment, I have a fear of laundry.

I’m not afraid of spiders, I’m just practicing my ninja kicks.

I don’t need to travel, I can just stay in bed and browse Pinterest.

I don’t need a therapist, I have a dog that licks away my worries.

I’m not crying, I’m just watering my face.

I don’t need a watch, I have my own internal clock that’s always wrong.

I don’t need to be popular, I’m already the queen of my own universe.

I’m not late, I arrived exactly when I wanted to.

I don’t need a personal trainer, my cat keeps me on my toes with daily yoga sessions.